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Toefl : Begin learning a foreign language as soon as starting school


Toefl Independent Writing. Please correct it.

As you may know, only native language is not enough for communicating in the future because many countries have an awareness on maintaining relationships and business agreement. This is reason why learning second language is essential for everybody. The question is that when is the most appropriate time for starting to learn foreign language. Personally, I believe that second language should be prepared earlier so starting school is the perfect time.

First, childhood is the most appropriate period for learning because of the readiness. Children have not many responsibilities to take into account. Also, learning and studying are the first priorities to focus on. For instance, according to a research, it demonstrates that at the age of 5-10 is the period of remembering and analyzing. Therefore, if parents provide education for their children, especially, foreign language by listening to the musics or reading foreign books for them, children will absorb the accents and become accustomed to these information. Consequently, children will automatically speak foreign language fluently.

Moreover, learning language takes time to achieve. Starting later will be too late for learning because processes of learning are to begin with vocabulary, grammar, structure, and more. Unless children get deep understanding in these foreign contents, they will not be able to communicate accurately in long-term. For example, Linda, my friend, can speak both Japanese and English as well as the native speakers. This results from her past learning since she was 5 years old. At the beginning, she studied easy vocabularies and remembered basic grammar. Nowadays, she turns to study more advance. As the result, she has a great improvement in Japanese and English.

To sum up, learning foreign language is an important and the suitable time to start is also more critical. I considers that childhood is ready to study because of less responsibilities and learning is a main duty. Moreover, second language is a long process to achieve. Thus, beginning in small age can results in long-run advancement.

Jun 14, 2014   #2
Hello itspueng! Your essay is generally good :) here are some of your minor mistakes:

Well there is some problem with this conclusion. It should be brief, but informative enough. And you have just made it the latter. You should combine the sentence as well as the information, it should be 1 to 2 or max 3 sentences. If I were you, I would write:

To sum up, learning foreign language is important and the suitable time to start is also more critical. I consider that childhood is the perfect time to start learning because of less responsibilities and any language requires a long process to achieve.

By the way, I think if in the intro you write:

starting school is the perfect time.

but in both paragraphs you mentioned childhood much more than school time, don't you see? I think you need to make it coherent okay?

hope this will help :)
As you may know, only native language is not enough for communicating in the future because many countries have an awareness on maintaining relationships and business agreement.

This sentence is too long and contains much vague information when it comes to an opening paragraph.
according to a research, it demonstrates that atResult shows the age of 5-10 is the period of remembering and analyzing.

I considers

I consider

can results

can result


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