NEW TECHNOLOGY BROUGHT HIGHER security FOR our society
With the arrival of digital era, the use of computer technology is becoming increasingly common. Some are of the opinion that the hi-tech computer has provided people a security world while others differ in the opinion. However, I would like to argue that computer technology creates a safe world for citizens, as well as causes some problems.
On the one hand, the cutting-edge technology has positive effects on protecting the whole society. The video surveillance cameras in different areas help to prevent crimes, for example, the existence of CCTV cameras is a deterrence to those potential criminals, people will think twice before commit crimes, if they notice that the cameras are everywhere. Moreover, when the police investigate criminal cases, the captured images and videos from cameras can also be the evidence in the court. Consequently, the computer technology has created a safer world for the members of the public.
On the other hand, although the computer technology has brought security to the public, some negative effects are also obvious so far. For instance, a large amount of personal information are exposed on the Internet every year because of the illegal hacking activities. It is easy for people to access some illegal websites to get private information, like bank accounts or identity numbers, which may lead to some financial lost). Moreover, some online multinational crimes happen frequently, and it is very difficult to catch the criminals for the police. From this perspective, the development of computer technology can also put people's lives into dangerous.
In conclusion, the computer technology is beneficial to the security of our society, but we should also consider the unsafe issues brought by it.Some are of the opinion are that the hi-tech ... differ in the opinion. However, In my opinion, I would like ... technology creates has created a safe world ... as causes caused some various problems.
people will have to think twice before commit commiting crimes
... created a safer (better)world for ...
and it is very difficult for police to catch them
put people's lives into dangerous danger
@JINGHAN
Hi there!
Welcome to the forum.
First and foremost, I recommend that you try to enhance the overall outlook of your essay through using more an academically appropriate structure.
Additionally, using a more structured or outline-based writing method would help you incorporate more substance into your essay without losing touch of the formalities that are necessary.
With that, try revising portions of your essay that have lengthy or bulky sentences. If you feel as though you can get away with separating your thoughts into particular parts (by using transition words, for instance), opt to do that than having run-on sentences.
In order to give more clarity to your essay, it would be beneficial if you can use a firmer voice in your written text.
Let me revise a small part of your essay to give you an idea of what this looks like.
On the one hand, the cutting-edge ... protecting the whole society. The vVideo ... help to prevent deter crimes, for example; , the existence ... criminals, people will think twice before commit crimes committing crimes, if they notice that there are cameras are everywhere. ... cases, the captured images and videos footage from cameras can also ... the court are court evidences. Consequently, the computer ... for the members of the public.
Keep these in mind as you are writing - and hope I helped. Best of luck in your writing!
