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I believe that the knowledge that I have acquired from my experiences is more important - TOEFL


NourNour 22 / 39 7  
Jan 26, 2016   #1
It has been said "Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

I have a great passion for reading books because they have opened my eyes on many facts and have shaped my way of thinking. However, despite of the undeniable benefits of books, I still believe that the knowledge that I have acquired from my experiences is more important because it enabled me to develop my skills and be more mature.

First of all, experience gives us the chance to improve our skills. When we want to learn a new skill, reading about it in books is not always sufficient. We generally have to experience it and practice it until we master it. For example, in order to learn academic writing, I did not just read books that deal with this topic but I also practised writing every day.

Additionally, with experience, we become more mature. It teach us how get ourselves from troubles. For instance, managing to get myself out from a difficult situation will teach me more than if I read a story about how to deal with troubles in a book, which I may forget after a while.

To sum up, books have a valuable importance; however, it is outweighed by the importance of experience. This latter allows us to hone our skills and practise the different knowledge that we read about them in books.
EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Jan 26, 2016   #2
Your writing is basically succinct and covers the question, however, you have some word choices that need correcting!

opened my eyes to many facts...

Your preposition is the wrong choice! With this simple substitution you make the sentence make correct sense in a more classical way.

out of a difficult situation...

I believe this would be the appropriate way to enhance your sentence, and again give it a more classic appeal.

Remember to choose your words carefully, as in a writing of this brief length, every word counts!

In general, however your structure is good, with an intro and conclusion, and two example paragraphs. Perhaps you could add a third paragraph for another example, but still pick your words more carefully.

Wishing you much luck in the future...

ef_carol
david2708 2 / 3 2  
Jan 26, 2016   #3
Hi Nour, below is my feedback:

1. paragraph 1: ...because it enabled me to develop my skills....( I think it should be "enables", because of the situation is not only in the past but present).

2. a. paragraph 2: ...I did not just read books that deal with this topic but I also practiced writing every day.... (I think you should use simple present tense here, because the sentence refers to the habit that you always do),

b. you have to use the word "practise" here as the verb form. "Practice" is a noun form.

3. a. paragraph 3: I suggest you to use a consistent sentence structure to describe your reason. In paragraph 2, you used S-P-O structure: Experience (Subject) gives (Predicate) the chance (Object). It will be better if you write your second reason as: "Experience makes us more mature."

b. It teach teaches us (about) how (to) get ourselves (out) from troubles.

c. managing (previous experiences) about how I managed myself out from a difficult situation will teach me more (rather) than if I read a story book about how to deal with troubles in a book , which I may forget after a while.

Hope the above helps.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Jan 26, 2016   #4
sSo, we are not looking at any problem in logical thinking, reasoning, or sentence development. What we do have a problem with, is your ability to create more complex sentences using a more varied vocabulary. I hope you are trying your best to increase your vocabulary usage somehow. Your writing continues to improve but I would like to see a more improved vocabulary and sentence device somehow. Keep up the good work though :-)

... they have opened my eyes on TO many facts and THAT have shaped my way of thinking AND OPINIONS. However, despite of the undeniable benefits of books,... my experiences is ARE FAR more important because it THESE LESSONS AND EXPERIENCES enabled me to develop my skills and be more mature AS A PERSON.

... We generally have to experiencE TRY it and practice it ... I did not just read books that dealT with this topic... practised PRACTICED writing every day.

Additionally, with experience, we HELPS ONE become .... It teachES us how get ourselves from troubles PREVENT PROBLEMS. ...

... . This THE latter allows us to ... practise PRACTICE the different knowledge that we read about them in books.


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