IELTS WRITING TASK 2
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discuss both views and give your opinion. Please help me, thank you so much!
Practically, there are certain groups of those who still completely believed that children should devote all of their first lifetimes at school to gain the best academic performance. From my own viewpoint, this would more or less affect the comprehensive development and future career of their offspring.
It is undeniable that schooling institutions play the key role towards children's integration, it generates the appropriate environment where children could communicate with others, respect and obey the rules of their school in particular as a community in general. Through the academic environment, a child could easily identify their strength, enhance their value and share it for the surrounding. Besides that, facilitating early social skills, which is taught in school, boosts a child's confidence level to confront obstacles outside society. It is also essential to support them acclimatize themselves to different conditions and become more independent.
On the other hand, schools cannot entirely replace the role and responsibility of parents. Individually, family is considered as the society in miniature that we interact most ever since we were born. Children start shaping their awareness by imitating behaviors and gestures of their family members throughout the first years of life, which shapes the child's personality and characteristic in the future. Parents will also certainly be the first to help their offsprings learn how to show kindness to others, what is important in life, differentiate between right and wrong as well as encourage them to believe in themselves so they can stand on their own feet.
In conclusion, children are in need of being educated, but they have also to be left to educate themselves. The harmonious combination between school and family will give the most efficient orientation for the development of children's consciousness, then they could continue their studies with no support.
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The prompt paraphrase has to outline the discussion instruction as provided in the original prompt. In this rephrasing, you failed to identify the discussion instruction. The instruction is to discuss both points of view and your your opinion based on personal knowledge and experience. You turned this into a personal point of view response, which means you will lose points for having only a partially correct response to the prompt instruction and, there will be points deducted for the words that should have gone to discussing both points of view as well. That means your essay will be considered under the word count and as such, will have great difficulty in achieving a passing score.