Hellooo...,Take a closer look at the prompt.
Does good exam result at a school or college do guarantee success in life? Discuss the advantages that a good education can have on your future. Do you believe that studying hard will bring a better life?Topic:
Does good exam result at a school or college do guarantee success in life? You need more words to discuss this topicThis is your starting point to enhance your opinion for the following paragraph.Opinion:
Discuss the advantages that a good education can have on your future
. Highlight this
: It is not me, it is not others, but it is your opinion dealing with your future.Task:Do you believe
that studying hard will bring a better life? I didn't see you give an emphasis for this key word. It is very simple, but you can't ignore the fact that (extract from website) The personal pronoun I is used in academic discourse for self-reference, particularly when referring to one's own stance (one's position or viewpoint) Moreover, This pronoun is a must.A few details it takes for grammatical mechanics:
While it is true (a comma) I believe that bright future is not only caused by hard study process.
Word says this is an inappropriate word order. I agree. Highly: Adverb, Mark: Verb/ Noun. Follow this: Adjective is modifying Noun. Adverb is modifying Verb
good schools is
Word says there is a problem with Subject and Verb agreement. This should be good schools are / good school is
character buildings lesson
Word says this is an inappropriate word order. I agree. A modifier can't be plural. Omit "s" building and school.
From this case (a comma) we can imply
Word gives punctuation suggestion, a comma.
although studying hard is related to the better life (a comma) it
is might consider taking soft skill improvement onto person success path.
Word gives punctuation suggestion, a comma and says there is a problem with Verb agreement (Is and Consider)
Word says there is a problem with the word choice. Are you sure Dyslexian
is an English word?
Dyslexian see the written seem moving like dancing so they cannot read.
Word says this is a bad grammar issue. I agree. There is a problem with Subject and Verb agreement.Your Introduction:
The outcome of tough study process is related to the economic prosperity.
Is it a hook? I am not sure enough this is going to be a good hook. The economic prosperit
y doesn't have any relationship with your topic. But, if it is any, I think this is very very very general . If you can't even create a hook, then leave it out. However, A hook is a must for earning a good score :)
I remember how Dumi (our moderator) provides a mentoring structure for other students (like me) at this forum dealing with an introductory paragraph.
She suggests: INTRODUCTION- hook+ background of your topic + State your opinion/ position
. I think you should pay particular attention to what the structure is constructed.
Thanks. Good Luck for your exam :)