Please read this essay and give your opinion and if it is possible a band score
University lecturers are now able to put their lecture on the Internet for students to read and so the importance of attending face to face lectures has been reduced.
Do you believe the use of Internet in formal education is a good idea? What future effects will the Internet have on academic study?
When it comes to how the new technology such as computer and the Internet can improve our future education, people think differently. Some believe the Internet can change the essence of the traditional education from a serious issue to a kind of entertainment, while others think education by Internet can easier and more convenient.
I believe using the Internet can provide an accessible and convenient learning. The Internet with different features and tools provide an easier way to learn different materials. In future the Internet can provide a better, and more accessible academic education for people all around the world.
First of all, the Internet is an accessible and convenient source of information, which can be used for education. Almost everywhere with a computer and a communication line we can have an Internet connection and be in touch with different source of information. In addition, the distance from the college or university cannot be an obstacle. Moreover, by Internet we would be able to learn at any time we want. In a lecture if we miss a part we can go back and review the missing part for more effective learning.
Second, there are lots of features in Internet that can help us an effective and better learning. Use of different virtual graphics or animations in Internet can provide us an easier way to understand some complicated processes, such as what is happening in the centre of the earth in an earthquake or how a protein can be synthesized inside of a cell.
Finally, in future the Internet can have a positive impact on academic education. by more access to virtual libraries and sources of information via Internet in the future more people can have access to higher education and the inequality issue about education would be a story.
In conclusion, Internet can improve the quality of the education, by being more accessible and convenient than traditional style of education. There are more possibilities to learn anywhere at anytime. Moreover, there are lots of features in Internet that can help a better understanding of different materials in study. In addition, by minimising the physical distance the Internet can help other people to have opportunity for a better education and higher quality of life, no matter where they are.
The second item and another side(face to face) are not covered.
Organization is not clear, as a result, arguments are not very clearly stated.
Supporting points are not strong enough.
Last sentences in the first paragraph repeat and overlap in later graphs.
Links and various structure are used, but need improvement.
words are limited, like accessible ,convenient
I like the examples in paragraph started with "Second..."
And the sentence "inequality issue about education would be a story"
-- advatages for intenet training:
reachable at anywhere and anytime
whenever, it can be stopped and played repeatedly and refer to related materials
-- for face-to-face courses:
interact with teacher
discuss with students
I don't think teaching way with high techonology is a difference between them.
In both classed, ppt&animation can be used.
i totally agree with lippea. Your points do not show a strong argument. You should compare and contrast between the two options so a layman can tell the difference. I like the write-up...just need improvement. Regards
Thank you for your replies.
First, as I understood for essay we should answer just the question, which is
"Do you believe the use of Internet in formal education is a good idea? What future effects will the Internet have on academic study?"
I agree that I missed the second question about the "future effect of Internet" but the reason I did not mentioned "face to face "issue is that was not part of the question.
Second, I didn't get the point about the "strong supporting point"? You mean there were not enough examples about my reasons? Would you elaborate this a little more?
I look forward
Some believe the Internet can change the essence of the traditional education from a serious issue to a kind of entertainment, while others think education
by using the Internet can be easier and more convenient.
Finally, in the future the Internet can have a positive impact on academic education.
by By gaining more access to virtual libraries and sources of information via the Internet, in the future more people can have ...
Use the word "the"---> In conclusion, the Internet can...
You are doing very well! Keep practicing! :-)