Many believe that the young had better pay more attention to cultural activities instead of sport

Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theatre and less time on sport.

How far do you agree with this statement?

Many people believe that the young had better pay more attention to cultural activities instead of sport. However, in my opinion, they do not review all aspects of this statement so i completely disagree with this view.

It could not deny that nowaday, many culture activities become out-of-date. They do not fit the modern lifestyle of adolescences. In twenty-first century, the world changes rapidly everyday that makes young people have to interpret its system and socialise more. Humans currently are getting busier and working harder, quicker so they can not waste their time on something that has not been interesting enough or not help their career. Furthermore, sports make people communicate, helps they relax after long time of working and especially they are fashional. On the other hand, almost cultural activities are too slow comparing to the fast movement of sports, active people are easy to pick the second choice.

Moreover, sports have many health benefits to everybody. Firstly, it aids for cardiovascular system. A lot of researchers show that playing sports can reduce some diseases such as: having a headache, broke or diseases related to the heart. Secondly, taking part in a sport might build your better body. It helps maintain the accurate weight and make you look sexier. Finally, scientists point out that the brain receives many advantages when people playing sports. This prevents lots of dangerous diseases like alzermer or losing memory and boost the Iq level.

To conclude, sports play an important role in the young,s life and people should spend more time on them. Therefore, by any way, taking more time on cultural activities such as music and theatre despite of sport is unnescessary.

Use synonyms. Avoid keeping any original keywords to help increase, rather than decrease your L R score.


What aspects? The original prompt is complete. You are the one who should offer a clean statement of at least 2 reasons for your thesis statement. Yours is the incomplete response.

The first 2 sentences of your first reasoning paragraphs are redundant. You indicate the same information twice in varied ways, causing these to become word count fillers instead of discussion informative presentations. Actually , upon a more comprehensive review, the whole paragraph has no logical content. It turned into a mere paraphrasing exercise covering the same thought presentation. This is a very bad and useless paragraph.

In the concluding paragraph, your extent response should again be present to indicate a complete summary of the discussion that you just presented.