Some believes that the authorities have a paramount role to minimising bad environmental impact

Hi there,please give me some advice about my essay below. Many thanks
Reducing global environment damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

responsibility for Reducing global environment damage

Global environment is considered one of the most pressing problems of the 21st century. While some people believe that authorities have a paramount role to play in minimizing green issue . Even though, I strongly agree that the damage to the environment ought to be tackled by individual's attempt

Firstly, the governments could make more attempts to reduce environmental damage. They can run factories and industries by introducing laws to limit the amount of emissions, so it will help to maintain and balance the ecological system . Moreover, authorities should take place "green campaign" programme for the purpose of raising awareness of our energy use . For example, Earth Hour is an annual global campaign that encourages people around the world to reduce global environmental hazards by switching off for at least one hour.

On the other hand, nobody can deny the roles of individuals in the environmental protection process. The uncontrolled use of automobiles can caused global warming because it releases a wide range of polluted gases. Therefore, people can reduce harmful habits into environment by taking public transport instead of private cars. Furthermore, the citizens should join hands to deal with these issues by sorting the daily garbage , enhancing environmental awareness tree planting to yield a healthier atmosphere.

In conclusion, if citizens do not to try to raise awareness of environment protection, we will give severe consequences. However, fully address the threat of global environmental damage; we must need a comprehensive combination of the government and individual.

i think
... can 'caused' global ... should be cause
i think your 2nd main idea of the body 2 is not clear. it seems like a list without a general statement
the last sentence sounds confusing to me. i mean the structure

Do, unfortunately, I cannot give you advise regarding the content of your essay nor your discussion. The reason that I cannot do it is because you have written only 247 words out of the required 250 minimum word count. As such, in an actual test setting, your essay will not be qualified to get a passing score since major point deductions will be made for the lacking words up to minimum word count. Therefore, you will not have written a passing essay. It will be impossible for you to pass since you will also have points deductions for the LR, C&C, and GRA sections. The essay will also be considered under developed in terms of discussion due to the lacking word count.. Therefore, for this particular essay, my advise to you is this, make sure to write at least 250 words before you submit your essay for assessment and scoring. It does not matter if you are just writing a practice essay, everything from the timing to the word count should be based on an actual test setting as that is what you are preparing for.