It believes that children should be taught to be good parents at their ages.

QUESTION: Some people believe that children should have formal training at school to become good parents. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion

These days, it is reckoned that children in their curriculum should be preached about how to be good parents. Athough it is imperative for children in their future; however, I reckon that it can not be justified for children at their ages to get such education like that. I believe that the most important thing should be taught for children are acquiring knowledge, playing outside with their friends and learning new experiences.

With regards to the first idea, for those who believe that parental programs should be taught for children at their childhood, I would say that it will be useless because children are too young to grasp about those matters. For instance, children are still in infancy and learning process as well, then, how children could imagine adults' lives when they, themshelves, are still learning in many aspects of lives? Formal training to be good parents is great, but when it comes to children, it does not make any sense.

Subesequently, because children are still in infancy, I would rather to teach them enjoying their lives and learning enormous things at childhood. Those matters will be useful for children because it can be broader children's horizon and gain new experiences about many aspects of lives at the same time. Besides, at young ages, it is the best time for children to play with their friends and develop their talents.

In brief, it is too early for children to get lecture about how to be good parents. At their ages, I prefer to teach children about experiencing various matters like acquiring knowledge, playing together with their friends and learning new things because it is great for their development. Although it is significant to teach them to be good parents, but it is not their time yet.

- Confusing sentence, not a good comparison for a parallel sentence.
- *themselves*
- Responding to an essay question with more question is annoying. So, try to avoid posing direct rhetorical questions to the reader in an essay. These are usually tiresome to read because they shift the burden of answering the question to the reader when the reader just want to sit back and let you do that. Rhetorical questions are useful for the person writing the essay (i.e. they help you come to grips with the topic), but it is best to rephrase them as statements or as indirect questions.

For example:

Question: Why did Zeus chose to punish man for Prometheus' sins?
Statement: Zeus chose to punish man for Prometheus' sins because............

Direct: Why did slaves not run away from their masters more often?
Indirect: The question arises as to why slaves did not run away from their masters more often.

You can then go on to answer indirect question without the reader feeling like you have tried to pull them into your discussion. So, one maxim of essay writing is: don't ask, tell.

Overall, you did well in elaborating and giving examples in your essay, although your last sentence seems little bit ambiguous about on which side are you on.

Good job mate!
Good luck for the next one!