For instance, children are still in infancy and learning process as well, then, how children could imagine adults' lives when they,
themshelves , are still learning in many aspects of lives?
- Confusing sentence, not a good comparison for a parallel sentence.
- Responding to an essay question with more question is annoying. So, try to avoid posing direct rhetorical questions to the reader in an essay. These are usually tiresome to read because they shift the burden of answering the question to the reader when the reader just want to sit back and let you do that. Rhetorical questions are useful for the person writing the essay (i.e. they help you come to grips with the topic), but it is best to rephrase them as statements or as indirect questions.
Question: Why did Zeus chose to punish man for Prometheus' sins?
Statement: Zeus chose to punish man for Prometheus' sins because............
Direct: Why did slaves not run away from their masters more often?
Indirect: The question arises as to why slaves did not run away from their masters more often.
You can then go on to answer indirect question without the reader feeling like you have tried to pull them into your discussion. So, one maxim of essay writing is: don't ask, tell.
Overall, you did well in elaborating and giving examples in your essay, although your last sentence seems little bit ambiguous about on which side are you on.
Good job mate!
Good luck for the next one!