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There are benefits derived from travelling to remote areas, however it has numerous of downsides too


Laura Luc 1 / 1  
Jul 29, 2019   #1

Travelling to remote natural environment or not



It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Humans are all curious by nature, whereby it can be conspicuously seen from our valiant explorers or reckless thrilled-seekers. In the wake of advanced technology, these risk takers are even more likely to engage in scouting for every innermost corner of the world. Such a situation, however, has deteriorated into conflicting opinions. Although some opponents acclaim this prevailing phenomenon for its social significance, I strongly contend that there are abundant drawbacks eclipsing its merits.

On the one hand, being able to approach the isolated regions obviously has proposed a variety of important ramifications in life. First, owing to some researchers' expeditions to distant areas, the entire world and its geographic hidden gems are slowly yielded to the human. From the extraordinary discoveries to hazardous areas such as the South Pole or Artic, people have vividly conceived a wider visualization of the Earth surface. Besides, our humankind has been exposed to a profuse ecological collection of distinctly scarce flora and fauna found in the Amazon jungle. Second, tourists who venture into the secluded spots seemingly find this trend beneficial the most. These adventurous journeys not only intrigue the thrilled-seekers on the way to conquer their ultimate self, but also provoke their profound gratitude towards nature.

On the other hand, this so-called thriving trend has potentially placed grave impacts on both the environment and the risk takers. As a dramatic influx of visitors travelling to pristine areas, accommodations and recreation constructions are the two prerequisite conditions entailed in the hospitality. As a result, these excessive development accounts for tremendous destructions of forests and its ecosystem in the vicinity. For example, Nepal, a prominent place for dauntless explorers of Himalayan ranges, has witnessed an extensive deforestation which has resulted in the natural landscape deprivation or even drives some species to the verge of extinction. In addition to the given matter, scientists and tourists when exploring untouched regions might put themselves at stake of wild animals or lack of adequate equipment. To take an example, last year a junior football team in Thailand were successfully extricated from a cave over the course of two weeks. Nevertheless, their case did come under fierce criticism from opponents across nations.

To conclude, we cannot refute the substantial advantages derived from travelling to remote areas. However, there are numerous of downsides in need of feasible solutions so that our environment is preserved and protected under any situation, from world adventures to relaxing holidays.

- Please help me if there's any errors I need to correct or change on this essay.
Many Thanks and Best Regards,
qromj19 3 / 5 1  
Jul 30, 2019   #2
@Laura Luc
Very wonderful piece of writing with many lexis new for me. Overall good, but coming to the final paragraph I got quite confused after reading the word "feasible solution", which made me read the essay again to learn if I was missing any "problem" in the essay. Personally, I think you did not quite clearly stated (lack of coherence and cohesion) the reasons for outweighing disadvantages over advantages.
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Jul 31, 2019   #3
@Laura Luc
Hi there. Welcome to the forum! Because you're new here, I would just like to wish that you find all of this feedback helpful for your writing endeavors.

I agree with a prior comment that your composition is well-done. It has no visibly disturbing negative details that can impact your essay's quality. Therefore, most of my suggestions are focused on improving the outlook of your written text.

I recommend that you mix in simpler sentences alongside your more complex ones. This makes up for a more organic writing technique as opposed to a robotic monotonous academic tone. Remember that this will tickle your readers a little bit more.

I would also suggest working on the clarity of your text. This pertains to explicitly mentioning when you're already working with examples to somehow guide readers into your work.
OP Laura Luc 1 / 1  
Aug 1, 2019   #4
Thank you so much for your valuable feedbacks and suggestions on my work. I will definitely look over the clarity of my text, as well as the phrase "feasible solution" in the conclusion. <3


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