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WRITING IELTS-TASK 2 The benefits and drawbacks of the education development


Asmaniatur 1 / - 1  
Dec 31, 2015   #1
Nowadays, many student complete their study and get the graduation from domestic universities whereas in recent years, the students finished and completed it from their own-country universities. Certainly, this development of education has some advantages and disadvantages which will be discussed in this essay.

It is no doubt that studying abroad creates several drawbacks for students which will influence to their characteristic. Firstly, they will have less nasionalism in theirselves because their life is spent more in the other countries than in their own country. Also, the more orientation they give for other countries than their own country as they get some jobs from their lecturers which affect to the development of their country. In brief, studying abroad may affect the several negativeness for the students.

To be the overseas student not only gives several drawbacks but also gives various advantages. One of them is to get more experience in other cultures as they stay for a long time so they can know the foreign culture, language and lifestyle. Then they can survive in other condition more easily than the student who studies inside. Also, it can develop the quality of their education due to the better knowledge which they obtain in the developed countries such as Germany -especially in medical world. Finally, they have more chance to have a wide relationship with the foreigner around the world because they have known how to assosiate with the foreigner with the different culture so they may develop theirselves' qualities. All in all, the quality of life can be improved by survival skill in different areas.

To sum up, although studying overseas has various negative effects for the students, it also has positive effects more. I believe that studying abroad will develop life skill of the students. The good association in international world is really needed to be the overseas student.

Ssakshijain 28 / 146 87  
Dec 31, 2015   #2
Hi Asmaniatur

Here are my suggestions:

Nowadays, many student complete their study and get the graduation from domestic universities whereas in recent years, the students finished and completed it from their own-country universities

How will you distinguish domestic and own-country universities? I am finding them same, I would have written national and international universities. Do you mean state or national universities? You can use better contrasting words by describing more??

....which will be discussed in this essay.
Never say such words, just write what you want to say. Saying that it has both advantages and disadvantages on student life or human life would be enough, it is explanatory that you will be discussing this in your essay, so no need to mention this rather spend your time in writing more about your reasons. It is no doubt that studying abroad creates several drawbacks for students which ....affect to the development of their country. In brief, studying abroad may affect the several negativeness for the students.

You have numerous spelling mistakes, but before that I would say that your meaning is not clear in the essay. I will write a paragraph for you below to make you understand about the structure of the essay. Hope this helps:)


To be the overseas student not only gives several drawbacks but ...

Development in education has added many advantages too in student life. Firstly, students get a chance to work and study in diverse cultures learning about different lifestyles, cultures and languages. This made them more flexible to incorporate themselves in any work culture as compared to students who study among one community only. Furthermore, studying in developed nations like Germany could add to their knowledge and experience regarding a subject especially benefitting medical students. Therefore, the quality of life is improved in the students by studying with multinational people.


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