The benefits and drawbacks pertaining to experience a workplace before continuing study

WRITING TASK II

Some suggest that young people should take a jo for few years between school and university.
Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might for people who do this.
Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge of experience.

It is become apparent in recent years that many people recommend the teenagers to have a job before they enter in university. This essay aims to elaborate the benefits and drawbacks pertaining to experience the workplace before continuing study in the college.

Young people who decide to work before come in university because they want to stand alone. The revenue that they got in their job can lighten their parent's financial to pay the university fund. The other advantage is improving skills, students will be independence and assertiveness, it supports them to learn about time management. In addition, skills that they have will lead them to get a better career in the years of come.

On the other hand, teenagers should focus on studying in their age. Taking a part in a particular job, whether in voluntary or business that interests them will make them feel the comfort zone, a personal satisfaction of getting financial support, hence to make them not to continue their study anymore. The next downside is different sense of study. A student who keeps studying after senior high school to university is used to with the condition and situation of campus than a student who had postponed their education for a few years to work, they will need time to restart the feeling of being student. In addition, student who had felt a greater career before become a collegian enable them to think that education is not a priority anymore.

In conclusion, teenager will be much better to continue their education in university than find a job. Due to the fact that they need the same sense of studying and avoid personal satisfaction if they had had a job before. Hence, make them believe that education is always number one.

// Already submited response to other thread. Just view that. Clearing it so the notification doesn't appear up top. :P

Hi Chacha
Let me give you some advice

... decide to work before come in(to) university because ...

... restart the feeling of being (a) student. In addition, (a) student who (...) before become (becoming) a collegian enable them to ...

In conclusion, (a) teenager will be much better ...

Maybe if you add some concrete example or research this writing will be perfect
Thank you...

I'd use Grammarly to your advantage, it's a free program that automatically checks for errors and alerts you about them. Along with that, the program also provides you with a reason per error.