Hello! I am jino. I am harry's classmate [ if you know ]
My English is bad. I hope somebody can hlep me to check my essay.
I really thank those who help and give the advise people.
Urbanization ,the outward expansion phenomenon of cities, is developing moderately all over the world. Those who advocate for the benefits about urbanization, they believe that more and more people move to cities for the advantages.Moreover,those who criticize that there are a lot of drawbacks about urbanization, they deem living in the countryside is suitable. Although there are a great deal of opportunities for work and the best infrastructure in cities, the countryside offers the chance for quite life and less pollution.
Employment is more widely available in cities. Ostensibly, finding a high salary job is easier in cities. It is generally accepted that there is a large number of high quality school and university located in cities. Furthermore, big companies, shops, groups, and factories are concentrated around cities. Seoul, south Korea, the number of population about those who living in cities rose from 900,000 to ten millions between 1945 and 1990. Thus, unemployment rate decreased dramatically because the population growth.
In addition, a lot of infrastructure is provided in cities. It leads directly increased the life quality. There are transportation, libraries, parks, zoos in close proximity which is not as many as the countryside.' I like living in cities because I do not need to get up early, and also I do need to go anywhere ease for playing together'(one of my friend said)
Oppositely, urban sprawl exacerbates the amounts of pollution released. What's more, the metropolitan environment always effect our health. Noise, air pollution, light pollution are taking place because of population explosion. For instance, the destroying of the eco-system leads to the deaths of most of the wild creatures who lives around cities. Moreover, these pollutions also has serious impacts on humans developments. The utilize of the energy resources for the next generation will be limited. That is to say, environmental problem is facing a baptism of life.
In brief, although urbanization leads directly to increased amounts of pollution, it also provides greater opportunities for employment and access to localized infrastructure. Taking into account both sides of argument, living in cities is more suitable for those who want to has a hurried life. Therefore, especially retirement or old generation had better to live in the countryside.
Above the all is my eassy.I prastics a lot of time for it but still not improved. I decided to write it on here so that I can know which level I am now.
please check it as you can . I hope! Thanks for that . Really!
"the countryside offers a chance for a quiet life and less pollution."
"It is generally accepted that there is a large number of high quality school and university located in cities." Try to avoid these sorts of constructions. They are not wrong, exactly, but they greatly weaken your writing. Better would be "Most cities boast a large number of high quality schools and universities."
Those who advocate for the benefits about urbanization
, they believe that more and more people move to cities for the advantages.
I think that any pronoun used in a place like that is supposed to refer back to the word before the comma, which wouldn't be they. You can just take out the comma and they and it would make the sentence fine.