Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 8

IELTS: What are the benefits and problems brought by international corporation?


lynn11 2 / 6 3  
Jun 16, 2014   #1
What are the benefits and problems brought by international corporation?

The recent decades have witnessed the prevalence of International Corporation, an indispensible part of a nation's economy constitution. The concerns that the flourish of international business may inhibit the sound development of the local industry have been raised from this phenomenon. In this essay, both the merits and limitations of international cooperation would be discussed.

The advent of multi-national business has brought some opportunities to the countries involved. Whenever an international company launches in a new environment, it has to enroll a plenty of employees, which pose an encouraging signal to elevate the employment rate in a region. Apart from this, it is recognized that the multi-national business stimulates innovation in its sector. In order to win a place during the competition brought by the multi-national company, the local industries have no alternative but to lower their cost and star production innovation. Such benign competition is a motivator to facilitate the development of local industry. Finally, the employees working in multi-national companies are more likely to be exposed in the multi-cultural working atmosphere. Based on the demand of the business, the staff in the multi-national corporations have access to tackle various task concerning different cultural background, which is beneficial for them to expand their outlook and explore their working potentials.

The international corporations, however, pose a threat to the environment and local companies. In most cases, the core department of the international corporation would not be transferred to the emerging regions. On the contrary, it is the production department that is always shifted to the developing countries where where cheap labor force is the most attractive element. This is an effective way to cut down the production cost. Moreover, some multi-national companies change their sites to under developed regions for the sake of the local natural resources, such as water resources, the timbering or even some endangered wild animals. On account of economical interest, the local government has little awareness of environmental conservation and presents attractive condition to the foreign companies. Once the international companies has acquired adequate benefits from the local environment, they are prone to seek another place without shouldering any responsibility to the deteriorated environment.

In the light of the facts outlined above, we should be aware of the pros and cons of multi-national corporations and provide a justified comment on this issue.

Thank you for your advice on the logic of this essay and lexical resource!
SalMon 27 / 113 10  
Jun 17, 2014   #2
I have to say: lovely!
Very good vocabulary, impressive structure, coherence is nice, no big mistakes except:

In most cases, the core department of the international corporation would not be transferred to the emerging regions. On the contrary, it is the production department that is always shifted to the developing countries where where cheap labor force is the most attractive element. This is an effective way to cut down the production cost.

Well is this the limitation? I think It does not portray so clearly so If you want to keep this sentence you have to paraphrase. Maybe it's the reasoning for the transition of such companies to resourceful areas (as I perceive), but it's too long and abundant don't you think?

That's all :) Hope I can help :)
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Jun 17, 2014   #3
In the light of the facts outlined above, we should be aware of the pros and cons of multi-national corporations and provide a justified comment on this issue.

doesn't it too short? in introduction, you may post a suggestion to make it longer
OP lynn11 2 / 6 3  
Jun 18, 2014   #4
Thank you for you advice:)
How about this one: Instead of transferring their core departments to the emerging regions, most international corporations prefer shifting their production sectors to the developing countries where the cheap labor force and abundant resources are the most attractive elements.
OP lynn11 2 / 6 3  
Jun 18, 2014   #5
doesn't it too short? in introduction, you may post a suggestion to make it longer

Thank you!
What kind of suggestions are recommend? I will try to expand my conclusion:)
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jun 22, 2014   #6
I have to say: lovely!
Very good vocabulary, impressive structure, coherence is nice, no big mistakes except:

I agree with SalMon - yes, you have excellent writing skills - grammar, vocabulary, ideas ... everything seems perfect... How about managing time? Have you been able to finish it on time? Since this task is time bound, get hold of a good structure that you can keep following for most of your essays. Make sure all your points are supported by specific examples.
OP lynn11 2 / 6 3  
Jul 4, 2014   #7
thank you for your kind help!

I would finish this part within 40 minutes, and always use a similar structure. You have mentioned that make sure all your points are supported by specific example--I am not good at taking examples, and would you give me some guidance?
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jul 25, 2014   #8
In the light of the facts outlined above, we should be aware of the pros and cons of multi-national corporations and provide a justified comment on this issue.

When writing a conclusion for task 2, I always start with the words "In conclusion". There's no reason why you should learn any alternatives.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: What are the benefits and problems brought by international corporation?