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There are more benefits to travel in your own country than travelling in foreign


durai_ielts 1 / 1  
Jun 4, 2014   #1
Over the last decade, the number of domestic and international travellers has significantly increased the world over. While some opine that there are more advantages in a domestic travel, others argue that overseas travel has potential benefits. To my mind, the positives of local travel are on par with international travel.

On the one hand, there are many pros of travelling in our own country. The primary advantage is that there is no visa required for travelling inside the nation. For example, a friend of mine has been rejected US visa 6 times even though he provided genuine documents. At the end, he planned one month trip to North India after wasting 3 months in preparing documents for visa application. From this, it is clear that domestic travel has substantial benefits.

On the other hand, one of the main advantages of international travel is the exposure that a traveller gets towards different cultures. For instance, I went to Australia for my higher education in 2008. In addition to my studies, I learned many things about the people and their habits. In fact, I came to know about the meaning of life by socialising with people from a wide variety of backgrounds. While considering this, it is agreed that travelling to foreign lands will be an advantage.

As this essay shows that there are equal number of benefits of domestic and international travel, in my opinion, people should make use of these while planning trips. It is hoped that the public will increase their local and overseas travel in the future.

tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jun 5, 2014   #2
Hello durai, what is your purpose? ielts or toefl? write IELTS or TOEFL (based on your purpose) - and descriptive information in subject text box. Then, I suggest you to choose writing feedback as the category and give the complete prompt.
OP durai_ielts 1 / 1  
Jun 8, 2014   #3
its...IELTS writing task...thanks
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jun 8, 2014   #4
Please post the full topic for the next time, cause it helps us know what topic it is
Over the last decade, the number of domestic and international travellers has significantly increased the world over(I prefer "all around the world". what u wrote was fine though) . While some opine that there are more advantages in a domestic travel, others argue that overseas travel has potential benefits. To my mind, the positives of local travel are on par with international travel (It would be better if you could briefly mention why you took this position (blueprint). good introduction though) .

On the one hand, there are many pros of travelling in our own country. The primary advantage is that there is no visa required for travelling inside the nation. For example, a friend of mine has been rejected US visa 6(write the numbers below 10 in words) times even though he provided genuine documents. AtIn the end, he planned one month trip to North India after wasting 3 months in preparing documents for visa application. From this, it is clear that domestic travel has substantial benefits. (when you use the phrases like "many pros", "the primary advantage" the reader expects to read more than one advantages through the paragraph, while u just talked about only one benefit of domestic travelling)

(what kind of topic is this? If it is an "agree or disagree" topic you need to take one position, either agree or disagree, and then support your opinion over at least two paragraphs) On the other hand, one of the main advantages of international travel is the exposure that a traveler gets towards different cultures. For instance, I went to Australia for my higher education in 2008. In addition to my studies, I learned many things about the people and their habits (what habits are u addressing? If you state more details you can make the supporting sentence more believable and tangible.) . In fact, I came to know about the meaning of life by socialising with people from a wide variety of backgrounds. While considering this, it is agreed that travelling to foreign lands will be an advantage.

As this essay showsAccording to what was discussed above, it can be concluded that there are equal number of benefits of domestic and international travel, in my opinion,(a bit hard to come to this conclusion by stating only one benefit of each type of travelling. I mean it is not that convincing. If this topic is an "advantages and disadvantages" one, the better idea is to point out more advantages for one of them, either local or overseas travelling, and then get to the conclusion that the advantages of local traveling, for example, is more than the international one). people should make use of these while planning trips. It is hoped that the public will increase their local and overseas travel in the future.

Please add the prompt for the next time. Different topics need different structures and organization of paragraphs.
Hope you find the comments helpful,
Cheers,
Ahmad


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