Q: Many people are too scared to leave their home because of a fear of crime.
Some people think that more should be done to prevent crime, whereas others feel that nothing can be done.
What are your views?
As time goes by, criminal is getting familiar the public's ears which are served like our daily meals. It sometimes leads an exaggereted manner amidst the society like many inhabitants are too scare to go out thanks to a fear of crime. Regarding to this, a host of people argue that more should be done to prevent crime such as strict convictions and getting close with school. Otherwise, the rest says that nothing can be done with. Personally, I firmly agree to the first argument owing to individuals self-awareness.
The crime has been endemic in mostly parts of community's life, so that no option anymore to tackle this kind of wickedness. For instance, reseach conducted by the students from criminology departement of Bond University prove that, while the Belgium authority, as a highest holder of the power, had altered their constitution for three times in the last decade, there was no significant changes in their crime rate, just around in 56-62 per cent. It proves that we cannot do anything to deal with such criminal issues.
In another side, the opponents believe there are at least two methods we can do for the prevention. Firstly, the official stakeholder can make a strict sentence to the offenders. This is will cause those defendants think twice before carry out the certain crime. Secondly, police officers have to be close contact with schools, involved with education and prevention. They should focus on young people who have dropped out of school because they have a great chance to involve with gangs.
To sum up, while there is a country cannot do anything to decline their crime rate, we can apply a stringent penalties and down-to-earth with education matters. Furthermore, I highly likely recommend to the dwellers to increase their sefl-cognition in the crime prevention issue.
Hi Hadiyati, I would like to share my thoughts on the first two paragraphs of your essay.
1st paragraph
- criminalsisare getting
- familiar with
- the public's ears which are served like our daily meals.( I'm not sure what you exactly mean by this phrase )
- scared to go out
- thanks to aour fear of crime.
- Regarding to thisHaving said that ,
- more( more what?, it's an unfinished phrase and it cannot stand on its own ) more work should be done
- to prevent crime such as strict convictions and getting close with school( I'm not sure what crimes are we talking about here ) .
- Otherwise, the rest says that nothing can be done with it . - towith the first argument
2nd paragraph
- The cC rime has been endemic
- in mostly parts of our community's life,
Hadiyati, most of the sentences in the essay does not seem to go very well together or with each other. What happened is that, you tried to associate too many and too deep words that are not necessary to the essay, This does not reveal the true idea and the answer to the prompt so a total revision is needed and when you do the revision, mind your words, the simpler the words, the better, what matters is your idea and how it transpires in the essay.
