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The best and most cheerful memories we have from our children time


Gman97 2 / 2  
Nov 1, 2014   #1
Hello everyone,
Can you give me your opinion on my essay and whether or not if i am capable of getting a score 5.5/9 on this essay. I want to point out that this is my first essay so i know it won't be that good. Thank you for your help.

Is the childhood of each person one of the most unforgettable and happiest moments? It is said that the childhood is the most cherishing and joyful time in a person's life.Some people believe that the friendships made and never-ending football matches or hide and seek games are one of the main reasons of having a wonderful childhood.Whereas others think that the tragic moments such as child abuse or being bullied could lead to a unpleasant and dramatic past.

In the first place,not everyone's childhood is perfect, for some it may be the hardest and toughest time of their lives.For example being bullied as kids,being abused by their parents or someone who might have passed away ,these dramatic moments leave scars on a person's past that can still affect him till this very day.On the other hand, as children we tend not to be worried about the tasks that adults face on a daily bases.For example such as financial struggles and economic crisis.

In conclusion,it is clear for most people that childhood is the most wonderful time in our lives,despite the first life lessons we have could be either pleasant or crucial.Otherwise, the best and most cheerful memories we have had would be as children.

4theluvofgod - / 6 8  
Nov 1, 2014   #2
Well, I don't know what 's the prompt and I 'm not sure whch side you agree with because you mention both of them. Peronally I give this essay a 3/9.

My suggestions:
1. Pick a side, write down reasons, examples and explanations.
2. Look up a dictionary if you don't know what a word means. You have many inappropriate words in your essay.
3. Other than that, pay attention to grammar and sense.
Good luck! I'm willing to read your next draft.
Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Nov 1, 2014   #3
Firstly, there is an abundance of grammatical errors but do not worry those are minors.
In terms of your body paragraphs, there is only one which can slightly reduce your actual mark of writing skills.
OP Gman97 2 / 2  
Nov 2, 2014   #4
Would i be able to improve in just 1week since the exam is on 8th?And is it possible to correct those errors ?
Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Nov 2, 2014   #5
Would i be able to improve in just 1 week since the exam is on 8th?And is it possible to correct those errors ?
Yes it is possible to enhance your writing skills within a week. However, it would surely consume from you lots of energy and efforts doing so.


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