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My best friend in elementary school; Friendship forever


Libra 3 / 4  
Jul 23, 2009   #1
My best friend in my elementary school phoned me today, saying that she had been admitted to Northeast Yucai high school. So we will be together again after such a long time's apart.

We talked a lot, recalling the close feeling we had had. But some of her words really hurt me. When we talked about my going abroad, she just said 'Do you think you can go out?'. She also asked so when I talked about my JLPT 1 as 'Do you think you will pass it?'

Maybe as a good friend, I must consider these as a kind of...greeting, or concerning? But there is a meaning of despising, or worse, being jealous, isn't it? And when she asked about my private things, such as grades, as I'm modest, I didn't tell her the truth to avoid being regarded as showing off. Now I'm regretting about that. She may believe that I'm concealing my 'bad fact'.

I'm narrow-minded. I told myself: just because she didn't care about my feeling of being asked that, she treated me as a real friend. In this case, she won't doubt my words about myself as we have been being together for a long time. All right, get rid of it.

My best friend will be together with me in my high school life. I'm longing for the military training before the senior high 1.

EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Jul 23, 2009   #2
When we talked about my going abroad, she just said 'Do you think you can go out?'.

I'm not sure I understand this. Was she asking if you will be able to get the necessary permission to leave the country?

Maybe as a good friend, I must consider these as a kind of...greeting, or concerning? But there is a meaning of despising, or worse, being jealous, isn't it?

I can't imagine why, from what you've written here, you would suspect jealousy. Is there some evidence of that feeling that you've not written here? What you've reported so far is a normal conversation between friends:

"I hope to go abroad."
"Do you think you'll be able?"

"I have to take a hard test."
"Do you think you will pass?"

And when she asked about my private things, such as grades, as I'm modest, I didn't tell her the truth to avoid being regarded as showing off.

If you've not seen each other for some years, she probably asked about your grades either as a friendly general inquiry or as part of the conversation above:

"I have to take a hard test."
"Do you think you will pass? What are your grades like now?"

It sounds like you know there is some problem in how you interpreted her questions and that is what troubled you enough to inspire you to write this essay. For the writing, and perhaps for your friendship too, the thing to do is go deeper, to write in more detail about the interaction and what preconceptions you brought to it. Do you tend to feel that people are jealous of you? Has that interfered with friendships before? What changes might you make to avoid that happening again? In conversations, would it be possible for you to simply ask someone what they mean, rather than assuming something or wondering about it afterwards?
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Aug 1, 2009   #3
What's the purpose of this essay? Is it an assignment, or just a personal thing? If it is an assignment, what is the exact prompt, and what are the criteria it will be judged on?


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