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IELTS: "the best teacher in children's live is their parents"; how to be a good member of society

fadlanmuzakki 15 / 49 36  
Sep 6, 2014   #1
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good member of society. Other, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Informal education is the most important for improve human capability to be mingle to the society. Be good member of the public is one part of informal education and it should be learned from kids. Some folks believe that mother and father should teach their children how to be quality member of society. Whereas, the others tend to be convinced that school is the right place to learn this.

According to research from UNESCO that argues "the best teacher in children's live is their parents", some people believe that parents are a great teacher to their children and teach how to be good part of society. Because of the children have chemistry with their mother and father, so they would be comfortable when they parents teach them about social life. On the other hand, in the fact, parents' conditions at the moment are really busy to work, so they have not more time to teach their children. Moreover, there are a lot of parents believe that school is good enough to learn anything including society life.

In theory of education, school is best spot to learn everything either social life or other. Whereas, practically, school only the place that give principle to be best part of society. On the other words, schools are never giving an instance how to be great in the public.

In my personal opinion, both of school and parents' envelope should be equal. Because of school is teaching theory, whereas parents are giving an example how to implement that theory in relation to be good in social life. Apparently, both of them are interdependence, so to teach the children not only need role of parents but they also need to be teaching the theory from school.

To conclude, parents are important part to give an example and implement the theory how to be good member in society. Besides, school is an important part to teach the children theories in order to be quality in social life.
Anouar 12 / 35  
Sep 6, 2014   #2
...school is best spot to learn everything either social life or other about life's fields.
..school only the place that give principle
..anything including society life
-"Everything" ,"only", "anything" are exagerations that weaken your arguments,try to avoid it.
Regardless from some grammar mistakes,I think you should rewrite your essay in order to analyze deeply the aspect of education.I think ther's no critical thinking that's why your arguments are weak. I think you need to illustrate your point with more examples from your experience,observations, History.. so that you can improve the level of arguments.In addition,you need to organize your ideas that seem scattered and awkward sometimes.

Hope that I helped , keep practising.

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