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The best way to console the person is by patting him on a shoulder or silently hugging him


Acioncion 3 / 11 2  
Jan 17, 2015   #1
Hi everyone! This is my essay about communication tools. Hope you can help me to find mistakes and give some suggestions. I will be deeply grateful for any help.

Prompt: Discussing upsetting or controversial problems with others. Text message VS phone call.

Essay:
I believe that the best way to console the person is by patting him on a shoulder or silently hugging him, but if you can not be around a person you need to give him or her a call and let the person hear your worried but supportive voice. I cant imagine the worst way to notify someone about unpleasant thing as by sending sms or e-mail.

It's obvious that most of us try to avoid troublesome situations and that's why sometimes we choose not to see a person face to face. It is shameful for me to admit but I also belong to this category, often I don't have enough courage to reveal the truth when interlocutor's eyes staring at me.

Words on paper frequently flow better than your sentences when you are standing in front of a person sweating and blanking on simple words. But at the same time, I inclined to believe that writhing is a heartless thing, not as splendid literature works that can stir imagination, but writing as an instrument of everyday's communication.

My mother said that writing letters time had been more romantic than nowadays, everyday had been full of excitement and nothing could replace that feeling of holding letter in the hand with fast-beating heart in the chest which threatening to jump out by the thrill of expectation. I agree with her in some extent, but there is also some romantic appeal in hearing voice of your beloved coming from a cell phone and feel inseparable bond between two hearts.

From my perspective, discussing controversial matters through phone is better than by messages. The reasons are as follows. Firstly - is saving of time, secondly is the best way to eliminate misunderstandings, finally it provides mutual opportunity to catch real attitude hidden in tone of the interlocutor's voice.

Of course e-mail, messages have their unrivaled merits, because they provide enough time for a person to ponder information and decide how to react, however considering all the reasons I mentioned above, I still firmly hold my opinion that conveying information face to face or at least through phone call is better than via sending messages.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jan 17, 2015   #2
I believe that the best way to console the person is by patting him on a shoulder or silently hugging him, but if you can not be around a person you need to give him or her a call and let the person hear your worried but supportive voice. I cant imagine the worst way to notify someone about unpleasant thing as by sending sms or e-mail.

motivator+thesis statement+your opinion: follow this structure for writing an introduction. The thesis statement is not clear in this essay. You need to make it clear for the reader that you are going to argue about what issue(s).

It's obvious that most of us try to avoid troublesome situations and that's why sometimes we choose not to see a person face to face. It is shameful for me to admit but I also belong to this category, often I don't have enough courage to reveal the truth when interlocutor's eyes staring at me.

why? you tried to support the first sentence using an example, but the only different between first and the second sentence is that you replaced :most of us" with "I".

a body paragraph starts with a topic sentence that includes "general idea and precise idea". Then a supporting sentence should be added to support what is mentioned in the topic sentence. Make supporting sentence as believable as possible

My mother said that writing letters time had been more romantic than nowadays, everyday had been full of excitement and nothing could replace that feeling of holding letter in the hand with fast-beating heart in the chest which threatening to jump out by the thrill of expectation

you actually opened a body paragraph with a supporting sentence. Please follow the structure I suggested above.

hope this helps,
Cheers,
Ahmad
OP Acioncion 3 / 11 2  
Jan 17, 2015   #3
Ahmad, can you give me example of motivator in the opening paragraph? I can't get it, thakns


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