Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

The best way to help developing countries is to give them financial aid - [IELTS task 2]


rhino 3 / 4  
Nov 17, 2014   #1
It is an obvious fact that financial aid is the prompting for the developing countries to raise their economy. Likewise, economic aid helps them to improve their infrastructure. Although financial aid has been the positive sides for them, it has some disadvantages for civil society. In my opinion, alternative policy can be another optional to recover economy of developing countries.

One of the reasons of economy growth in developing countries is financial supporting from investor or World Bank. The funds will be used to build infrastructure and fix different sectors such as education and health. It is because infrastructure is being important part to give income for developing countries. For instance, Bali is one of the popular tourist destinations in the world so that government should improve infrastructure to lend to foreign visits Bali. It is the biggest foreign monetary exchange for Indonesia. As a result, developing countries become more independent and earn money for welfare state. For this reason, developing countries needs supporting financial from wealthy countries to improve their performance in any areas especially infrastructure.

However, in other parts, local authority might corrupt financial support for individual business. For example, nowadays, the number of suspect of malnutrition in developing countries is a significant rISse every year even some researches said that the number of malnutrition has dropped in worldwide. The main purpose of aid is to re-locate the money to help children with malnutrition in outskirts but is not happening for them due to corruption. Therefore, the aid does not go hand in hand with the goal.

Furthermore, educational sector can be optional to raise economy in the developing countries. For instance, developed countries provide scholarship for young generation, who comes from poor countries or branch out countries. They will acquire much detailed knowledge as long as they study and also they get more experience how to live in rich countries. As a result, they can come back to built their own countries with the knowledge that they already have. With excellent human resource, it is possible that developing countries can improve their economic.

To sum up, I believe that financial aid leads to another consequence like corruption. For that reason, I prefer choosing alternative policy such as educational improvement as an aid to developing countries.

(Words: 377)

Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Nov 18, 2014   #2
The essay is definitely well-written. Unfortunately, there are some advice for you to consider. It would be better if you combined pros and cons in one body paragraph. And when it comes to examples, try to utilize personal examples instead of general ones.


Home / Writing Feedback / The best way to help developing countries is to give them financial aid - [IELTS task 2]