Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

The best way to improve education is to raise teacher's salary.


honghee 3 / 7  
Aug 7, 2010   #1
Education plays a prominent part in an individual's growth process.Not only can it lead a person walk to success,but also supply a gorgeous life. So persons are attracted more attantion to improve the education recently.Someone said that the best way to improve education is to raise teacher's salary.Personally,I do not subscribe to the opinion.A segment of appropriate methods could improve education expect raising teacher's salary.

First of all,making students be interested in their studies is an effective method to improve education.No one dislikes doing something what he is interested in.The tasty manner of lecturings enable students to be positive .My first English teacher Mr.Li,whose lecturing was always be full of energetic and interests.He gave a lecture by a humourous and impressive languages to make sure us facilitate the understanding.He designed various of dialogue scenes for us to practise our oral skills.We were all enthusiastic to participate in it and crazy about it gradually.Undoubtedly,we had got a satisfied grade in that semester.

Secondly,academical communications are able to improve the education.It is possible to equate improving professor or expert's scientific research ability with improving the quality of education.For a person,even though he is an expert or elite in a certain major,it is hard to solve complex problems from all quarters and perfectly without other person's help .However,the limited ability of an individual could be offset by communication.So the number of people who go abroad to absorb more advanced skills or thought is increasing.Through the academical communication they could share their ideas and have a fierce discussion to promote the development of science which is an essential element of education.

Furthermore,an advanced equipment is an indispensable factor in improving education.For intense,for students who learn about meteorology multifunctional computers,datum received from meteorological satellites and various of precise meteorological instruments such as thermometer,hygrometer,solar radiometer are desired.Only depend on textbook and lake of these equipments they hardly learn to do the weather forecast or predict the meteorological disasters accurately.Therefor,increasing the investment for the equipment of education is also a feasible method .

Admittedly,raising teacher's salary enables school to hire excellent teachers for students and improve the education.However,it could make the sacred education tend to be commercial and several levels' education would appear.I confirm that it is serious obstacle in improving the education.

Personally,I do not agree that the best way to improving education is raising teacher's salary.

Shadow93 9 / 40  
Aug 7, 2010   #2
I assume you are not a native english speaker??

There are quite a few mistakes in your essay. I suggest running it first through word processing software like Microsoft to get rid of grammar/spelling errors.

Your argumentative essay is lacking on a few fundamental aspects.

1) IT is possible to say that making student interested and good communication are DIRECT results of having good teachers. And good teachers come by getting good salary. Which makes your argument a lot weaker.

2) It is important to elaborate on why raising teacher salary does not necessarily mean getting good teachers. Instead of focusing on providing a best way to improve education, you can work on a negative argument.

Please put some spaces between your sentences and paragraphs! You have interesting ideas and provide good examples to support your case but problems in spelling, syntax, word usage makes it VERY difficult to read it. I recommend checking out a good grammar book from your library, or researching the internet to work on your grammar skills!

Best of luck!
triplesmickey 1 / 39  
Aug 7, 2010   #3
I do not have a full read at your composition, and sorry for that Cui. Anyhow, as I read and process through your introduction and your second paragraph, I find that there are so, so many mistakes made thoughtlessly. And another thing that I find abundant is vocabulary. Some of my fellows possess good, very accurate grammar, yet their vocabulary is lacking. Still they compose a fine piece of writing, though still it lacks of complex words and prolonged structures. Then again, your case strikes me that your grammar does not equal your vocabulary, that the thing to be worked on is grammar in this case.

I do not like saying this to anybody, but you need to start all over again from grammar, only after succeeding in which will you be proceeding vocabulary enrichment. During this re-working time, you cannot be writing fine essays, but rather small pieces of paragraphs. Make as many mistakes as possible, but do not fear, yet do not be fooling around with quite an advanced journey like compositions. Convey your ideas through paragraphs, then long ones, then after that a full composition. Take steps, don't take jumps and sped rays.

Again, this is only a recommendation, which I find intellectually adept at your case. I believe it will help, but I do not want to bring arguments nor fight.

Thanks.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Aug 8, 2010   #4
Not only can it lead a person walk to success, but also supply a gorgeous life this is not incorrect, just strange. Do this:
It can not only lead to success but also increase one's enjoyment of life. So people are more interested in improving education in recent years.

No one dislikes doing something what he is interested in.

Furthermore,an advanced equipment is an indispensable factor in improving education.---- good point, but teacher salary does not pay for the equipment.

:-)


Home / Writing Feedback / The best way to improve education is to raise teacher's salary.