hi, buddy, please help me to polish my IELTS essay. Thanks in advance!!
Again, please note you will get suspended when you post one more useless comment in other students' posts. Laziness is not a good excuse here.
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Exercises are believed to be one of an effective ways to improve public health. Therefore, it is argued by some people that more sports facilities should be constructed. On the contrary, others believe this mode is ineffectiveness and that other policies should be adopted to keep fit.
Supporters state that the construction of sport facilities can enhance the chance of people doing exercise especially for those who want to do physical training while have no place to go. Modern people prefer to go to gyms or places with professional equipment to build up their bodies. Therefore, more sport facilities in communities meaning more accesses to do exercise, especially for those workaholics who always busy with their jobs having no time to go to gyms where are always far away from their home, the extent of convenience is one of the determining factors for them to do physical trainings.
However, opponents argue that it is a waste of money to construct more facilities and some of them are of vacancy as people don't like or have little time to enhance physical fitness. As a matter of fact, it is the unhealthy life-style, such as stay up late, sit stationary staring at computers while working, that contributes to the deterioration of modern people's physical fitness. Moreover, unhealthy dietary behavior is another significant factor to obesity, which believed by some experts, one of the main contributors to heart or other fatal diseases. Hence other actions should be advocated by governments, like spending money to held public lectures to instruct people how to keep fit, to make citizens realize their unhealthy life-styles.
As far as I am concerned, for developed countries where have perfect sport facilities for public, other policies should be adopted to improve the situation, while for developing countries where still have a scarcity of fitness equipment, governments should pay extremely attention to build up more facilities for citizens to do physical exercise.
your essay is good but it is rather limited in terms of idea.
Other measures to increase public health include imposing levy policies and tariffs on some kind of unhealthy and harmful products such as alcohol, cigarette, and so on.
Public mental and spiritual health should receive more care and concerns which could be done by limiting working hours of employees, open some medical councils and services to deliver stress management