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Essay about the best way to produce a happier society


analysa 1 / -  
Jul 21, 2022   #1
Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that only small differences between the richest and the poorest members.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

( SOCIAL )


While some people consider shortening the gap between the prosperous and the penurious as the most practical method to forming a wholesome society, I completely disapprove of this statement and I will recommend other ways that could make the living environment more auspicious.

Granted, one might argue that narrowing the dichotomy between the rich and the poor would help society be more blissful because residents could have the same high living standard. To exemplify this, in some thriving areas, like Dubai, which are notorious for huge disproportionate wealth distribution, there exists a large number of residents staying in run-down neighborhoods and facing financial problems and these could lower the level of happiness. However, this line of reasoning is not sound on the ground that material possessions are not the culprit of social cheerfulness. Matter-of-factly, although living under luxury, some wealthy people do not feel happy enough while many disadvantaged people are satisfied with their lives.

To add further credence to my assertion, I believe that instead of creating a minimal gap between social classes, the authority should pay heed to other aspects of life including health service and education. This is due to the fact that a healthy diet that consists of valuable nutrition like Vitamin A, minerals or Omega 3 could exert a positive impact on mentality to some extent. In addition, the school's curriculum should be dedicated to arts-based subjects and extracurricular activities rather than academic subjects. Consequently, students could have a window of opportunities to explore the meaning of life, forming a joyful society.

In conclusion, bridging the gap between the privileged and underprivileged with a view to producing a happier living habitat is not an efficient approach. From my perspective, the cheerfulness of surroundings should be based on excellent health-care and comprehensive learning.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Jul 22, 2022   #2
The writer has used several advanced English words incorrectly in this presentation. These improperly referenced words reduced the LR score of the presentation in a large manner. While it is clear that the writer is owning the opinion based on his pronoun usage, something that will help his C+C score, the problem with word usage cannot be ignored. He just uses words without knowing the actual meaning. What he wanted to say positively, due to incorrect word choice, became a negative, which ran counter to what he was trying to say. Those word usage errors are the biggest reason why his LR and GRA scores will be greatly reduced. The incorrect word choices has resulted in confusing statements that will leave the reader / examiner confused by the actual meaning of his sentence / paragraph. When confusion occurs, a failing score will be given to the GRA section. These errors will result in a failing final score even as the writer has met the word count and response format requirements.


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