the best way to raise children is to encourage them to be independent thinkers.

Some people believe the best way to raise children is to encourage them to be independent thinkers. Other disagree with and say that children need to discipline in order to become successful.

During my thirty years, I have learned a lot of thing in my life, but perhaps the most important thing of them all is how to be a good parents. Many people believe that successful parents who is feed their children with organic food, and provide them with suitable health insurance. These are very great thing. Whoever, more importantly, parents are responsible for preparing their children for the future. Due my experience with four children, I prefer that children should be taught the discipline to be successful for the following reasons.

The first reason, children are not mature enough to practice the bad or good activities. Scientist refer that the children could be taught before their birthday. They notice that newborn baby can figure out his/her mothers voice. My sons were taught a lot of the right habits from his mother and me. So they are all intelligent children. For example, my sons were scheduled their day time for teaching many things such as bilingual skill, art, computer. A lot of time and money was spent to provide them with new technology to learn different sciences.

In addition, children never have any experience with life. We are passing on very materialistic era. There are many social, financial, moral problems which we faced through our life. If we leave our children to discover it by their own, they may encounter the danger cases. Some problem can not be solved with any thing such as the health problems. For instance, if they drive a car without any assistance, Probably, they make an accident. For that, children should be taught whatever they need to learn, before the practice it without assistance.

On other hand, raising children to be independent thinker is also important in some sides to built their character. Thereby they can to be a successful adult in the society. For example, parents should encourage their children to choose their clothes, books, and hobbies. At this way, child will be creative person where she/he will live.

Nonetheless, I prefer that children should be taught discipline in order to be successful because they are not mature and have not experience enough in life.

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Again awkward in the ending of the sentence.


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Awkward!


Despite the corrections I have made, I think there's a lot to change in this essay. A lot in the writing style. You might want to write the whole piece again!

Hi~



It is a little wired. I suggest you to use the Google search engine to obtain related reference on the internet.You can find more appropriate examples,and avoid inconsistend control of structure and vocabulary. It's an effective method to imporve writing.

Good luck!
:)

Lily

Hi~



It is a little wired. I suggest you to use the Google search engine to obtain related reference on the internet. Meanwhile, you could use it to check out whether your expression is appropriate or not. You should avoid inconsistend control of structure and vocabulary.

It's an effective method to imporve writing.

Good luck!
:)

Lily