Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


IELTS TASK 2: the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences


Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Apr 1, 2015   #1
Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.


Crime is issue that deserves public attention. For this reason, the majority of people argue that prison is the most common punishment for criminals to ensure the safety of other citizens. While other people believe that there are various ways to punish criminals, I am personally convinced that rehabilitation is a convenient place for prisoners to be better citizens.

It is argued that prisoners will be law-abiding citizens when they were punished to stay in a longer time at prisons. For pragmatic instance, some criminals in Jakarta as capital city of Indonesia had stolen some private cars. By doing so, offenders stay at prisons for several years. It would be better for their personalities because they will learnt the lesson after living at prison which they can do almost nothing with public. As a consequence, prisons ensure the safety for citizens.

Another aim of prisons is rehabilitation. In this place, prisoners receive education of vocational skill because they earn personal skill. For instance, women prisoners at rehabilitation in Tokyo were taught to make shawl from wool cloth. In this way, they learnt in a depth how the first through the last process of making shawl. As a result, prisoners would be better citizens by having specific job skill.

In conclusion, either prisons or rehabilitations are a place to punish criminals in terms for being better people. Where possible, government should choose selectively whether rehabilitation or prisons is the place for criminals based on offender's kinds of criminalities.
mumtazdinar 12 / 15 12  
Apr 1, 2015   #2
Hi Anfalia,

These are several suggestions for your writing,

Crime is an issue that deserves public attention.

It would be better for their personalities because they will learntlearn the lesson after living at prison ...

In this place, prisoners receive education of vocational skillvocational education because they earngain personal skill.
As a result, prisoners would be better citizens by having specific job skill.

In conclusion, either prisons or rehabilitations are a place to punish criminals ...
... selectively whether rehabilitation or prisons isare the place for criminals based on offender's kinds of criminalitiescriminality

Note: Your essay is only 247 words.
Good Luck and Happy Writing


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳