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TOEFL-The best way to relax is by exercises.


basawang 10 / 76  
Sep 20, 2011   #1
People have different ways of escaping the stress and difficulties of modern life. Some read; some exercise; others work in their gardens. What do you think are the best ways of reducing stress? Use specific details and examples to support your opinion.

In modern society, people often face many difficulties under great stress. Therefore, it is necessary for many to find ways to relax. Although miscellaneous people may apply diverse strategies, such as reading, watching movies, or working in their gardens, I argue that the most suitable method of reducing stress for modern people is by different kinds of exercise, which can not only improve health conditions but also bring positive emotions.

It is not surprised that exercise play a crucial role in ameliorating physical health. Any kinds of sports, such as jogging, swimming, or playing basketball, can effectively facilitate human respiration and circulation system. Moreover, these sports can also strengthen muscles and lessen surplus adipose tissues in human body. The latter one is of particular importance because nowadays more and more people are suffer from obesity. Many studies has points out that numbers of overweight people have increased in developed countries in recent years, which mainly results from insufficient exercises.

Sports activities can improve mental health as well. When people exercise, the neuron cells in the brain release a chemical compound named Dopamine. This hormone can delight one's mind, creating positive feelings. Thus good exercises can often successfully alleviating one's heavy burdens. Moreover, rigorous exercise can also hone one's will, which enable people to be able to tackle stringent problems and arduous tasks.

In a nutshell, many activities can let humans relax. Nevertheless, I assert that the best way of diminishing stress is by exercises, which can benefit everyone not only physically but also mentally.
mhh2531 5 / 7  
Sep 21, 2011   #2
In a nutshell, many activities can let make humans relax. Nevertheless, I assert agree that the best way of diminishing stress is by exercises, which can have benefit to everyone not only physically but also mentally.

just my opinion
OP basawang 10 / 76  
Sep 21, 2011   #3
Hi, thanks for your help.

I concur with you. "By exercise" is not a good expression.

Also, "make" may be better than "let"

However, I do not think "agree" is a good vocabulary here.

Because the prompt mentions nothing about "agree" or "disagree".

Besides, I think "can benefit everyone" is OK.

Good luck
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Sep 21, 2011   #4
It is not surprised that exercises play a crucial role in ameliorating(I'm not very familiar with the usage of this word ; I would instead use a word such as "improving" here. Hope a moderator would comment on this, which would help me improve my English vocabulary aswell!) physical health. Any kinds of sports, such as jogging, swimming, or playing basketball, can effectively facilitate human respirationory and blood circulation systems . Moreover, these sports can also strengthen muscles and lessen surplus adipose tissues in human body. The latter one is of particular importance because nowadays more and more people are suffering from obesity.

Many studies hashave(note; studies - plural and has - singular) , pointsed out that numbers of overweight people have increased in developed countries in recent years, which mainly results from insufficient exercises.----- this seems to be a week sentence, specially with regard to grammer. I suggest;

According to many studies, there has been a sharp increase in the numbers of overweight people in developed countries in recent years mainly due to lack of physical exercises.

Try to avoid writing very lengthy sentences because you may loose track of what you really want to tell. It's good to keep things simple and short. Be careful with grammer and Keep practising while you become confident! You can do a good job!!!
OP basawang 10 / 76  
Sep 22, 2011   #5
Dear Dumi,

Thanks for your informative suggestion!!

I look up in the dictionary (Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English, 4th edition).

"Ameliorate" is synonymous with "improve".

It would be great if others can provide more information.

: )
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 11, 2011   #6
Great corrections here. And I see the self-correction in the second post; Wang, I think you'll have perfect English very soon!

Here is another error I noticed:
It is not surprised that exercise play
Learn to use this phrase: "It is no surprise that..."

For example, I can say:
It is no surprise that you are improving your writing skill, because you practice so much.

And now do this:

It is no surprise that exercise plays a crucial role in ameliorating physical health.
letho7990 3 / 4  
Oct 11, 2011   #7
In my view you write too much simple sentence , it will be better and get high mark if you use a complex sentence . Anyway your essay structure are logical

So keep going
This is some academic words you should use when writing essay

- Get: acquire, obtain, gain, receive, harvest
- Have : undergo, encounter, experience, possess
- Give: provide, present, contribute, offer, supply
- Do: participate, perform, conduct, undertake, be involved in, engage to, implement
- Enough: sufficient, adequate
- Not enough: insufficient, inadequate
- Many: various, numerous, large number of, an array of, a variety of, a range of, countless, an increasing number/ amount
- More: additional, further, added
- Too much: excessive, an excess of
- Things: priorities, sectors, items, articles, objects, issues, concern matters
- Big: significant, substantial, considerable, sizeable, vast, immense, tremendous, profound
- Important: prime, principal, major, essential, crucial, critical, pressing, urgent, chief, vital
- Important people: powerful, leading, influential, prominent, well-known
- Serious: urgent, grave, alarming, pressing, severe
- People: the public, the general public, tax payers, the local community
- Small: minimal, negligible, hardly noticeable
- Bad: negative, detrimental
- Good: positive
OP basawang 10 / 76  
Oct 14, 2011   #8
Kevin,

Thank you very much for your valuable suggestion.

It is no surprise that my English is becoming better because many experts such as Kevin are willing to give me helpful advice in Essay Forum.

: )

Best regards,
OP basawang 10 / 76  
Oct 14, 2011   #9
letho7990,

You made a wonderful glossary!

Thank you so much!!!

About the sentence structure, some people suggest me to write something simple, not too lengthy.

I think both short and complex sentences are necessary in an essay.

Indeed, I should practice writing some complex sentences. But there is no need to eliminate all simple sentences.

Good luck,
isabellaclaudia 14 / 31  
Oct 14, 2011   #10
yeah that glossary is indeed very helpful.

i find minor mistake that has not been corrected

it is not surpriSING.

i believe your essay has underwent a tremendous makeover after you fixed it. wonderful job :D
OP basawang 10 / 76  
Oct 15, 2011   #11
isabellaclaudia,

Thanks for your help.

However, Kevin has already pointed out that the right usage of this phrase is "it is no surprise that".

Good luck


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