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It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city.


sanginabadi 2 / 6 3  
Jul 28, 2013   #1
There is a belief among some conservative citizens that it is better to grow up children in the countryside. These people usually talk about lots of advantages of living in the countryside for children and disadvantages of living in a big city for them. According to their ideas the tranquility of the countryside can't be surpassed for a child development. They argue that there are lots of institutions in a big city that have bad effects on children. For example they talk about pornography which according to them is a terrible problem associated with big cities. Even so, there are few people how believe that children must live in a countryside because growing a child in a big city has many points in its favor. There are lots of good schools in a big city that essential for children development. Not only schools, but also lots of institutions involved in education in a big city. Also, in a city children can pass their leisure time in valuable ways. For me, there is no doubt that a big city is preferable to the countryside to raise children.

First, students in big cities can attend equipped schools which are necessary for their development. When I was a child, my parents and I lived in a countryside named Qorveh. It was a remote area in the west of Iran. There was only one school there and teachers of the schools also came from the surrounding villages. Frankly, I didn't learn much from them and always I felt that I could learn more by reading the books on my own. When I was 15 years old my family leaved Qorveh to live in Tehran. My sister Anny went to a fantastic school in Tehran. She learned music, English, and painting in educational institutions and primary school, the skills that I didn't learn very well in all my life.

Second, there are lots of entertainments in big cities that are essential for a child development that you can't find in an isolated small countryside. When I was a child the life was really boring in Qorveh, however now my sister passes her leisure time in the best possible way in Tehran. My father usually takes her to museums and teaches her about archeology and history of Iran. Also he takes her to stadiums and parks, the places that Anny feels happy there.

In conclusion, although both the countryside and a big city have some advantages that can benefit a child development, in my view, a city is a much better place to raise a child because there are lots of equipped schools, education centers, and suitable entertainments in a big city. Some religious or conservative people always afraid from big cities and they can't understand the benefits of life in such a good place for a child. On the other side, I believe that people must raise their children in big cities and do not confine them in a boring countryside.

496 words
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jul 28, 2013   #2
There is a belief among some conservative citizens that it is better to grow up children in the countryside.

... grammar error - children grow up and not the countryside grow up;
... it is better for the children to grow up in the countryside / ....it is better that children grow up in the countryside.
Your introduction needs improvement with its structure.
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jul 28, 2013   #3
I think your introduction is too long and too detailed. You had better save some ideas for your 2 body paragraphs.

didn't

avoid contraction: didn't -> did not

a child development

a child's development

Some religious or conservative people always afraid from big cities and they can't understand the benefits of life in such a good place for a child. On the other side, I believe that people must raise their children in big cities and do not confine them in a boring countryside.

I feel these two sentences is not necessary.
More importantly, what's the full prompt of the essay?


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