Some people believe that it is better to build new museums and town halls instead of renovations the old ones. To what extend do you agree or disagree? (Give your own opinion and relevant examples.
Several people have views that construction of new museum and city hall would be better than renovate the old ones. I do believe that regenerate the historic buildings is a better choice.
There are various reasons why persons regard that renovate old buildings is essential. Firstly, the historical buildings are a part of country's heritage. They are often considered to be a masterpieces, which identify country by architectural symbol, such as the pyramids in Egypt, National Monument in Jakarta, Indonesia. Consequently, they should be protected, they need regular repair and maintenance. In the other sides, there are a lot of museums especially in Indonesia that need more attention. Some museums are categorized in the improper visit. They look slum, dirty and scary. Finally, many people think twice to visit them, even they prefer to visit malls instead.
However, to develop a new museum is not as easy. Probably it will spend much money and more time. Furthermore it needs an extra ordinary think, because a new museum should be complementing with the old one that had built before. Eventhough, the new museums have different meaning from the old one. They can not replace sense of themselves. Renovating the historical buildings, it means let history keep alive. Thereby it can be used to educate for young generation, for example school held a program tour national museum to memorize kindness of heroes. By visiting museum we can learn from the past experience about how to struggle our independent. By seeing historical building bring us at the ancient memory. It will be distinct when we visited new museum and town hall.
To sum up, renovating the old buildings is likely to be more effective than developing the new ones. Goverment should give more attention at the historical building. By renovating historical building it will bring benefits to public.
Hi Fitri, here is my thoughts towards your essay
Task achievement:
I think you should add the general reason in your statement to emphasise your disagreement.
I saw a jumping idea. in your second paragraph, you discussed your disagreement towards the notion, and in the third paragraph you discussed your reason why building new museum is not easy, but in the same paragraph, you returned to discuss your agreement. you have to discuss it in your second paragraph.
... the historic buildings isare a better choice.
Firstly, the historical buildings are ...
when you use 'firstly' it must have 'secondly, thirdly, finally'
... considered to be athemasterpieces
Furthermore,(need comma) it needs an extra ordinaryextraordinarythinkconsideration
Keep writing!
Hallo.. here i try to give you some suggestion.. i hope it useful
... be better than renovate the old ones. I do believe that regenerate the historic buildings is a better choice.
1. I do believe -> i believe
2. A better ??? What your comparison? It must THE BEST CHOICE
I believe that regenerate the historic buildings is the best choice.
Good luck
HELLO, HERE ARE MY SUGGESTIONS FOR YOU
I do believe that regenerate the historic buildings is a better choice .
I think your statement above is not clearly mentioned in your body paragraph explanation since you write some contrast statements. So, you have to emphasize your idea to the readers strongly
Furthermore (need comma here ) it needs an extra ordinary (extraordinary ) think, ...
Eventhough (even though ), the new museums ...
They can not (cannot ) replace ...
Thereby (need comma ) it can be used to educate for young generation, ...
Goverment should give more attention ...
GLUCK ^^~
Hi Fitri :) here is my some suggestions toward your essay
1. There are variousvariety of reasons why ...
2. ... repair and maintenance. In the other sides , there are a ....
In this paragraph your explain variety of your reasons, I think that "In the other sides" better to use In additional or Also, because there are not contrast reasons.
3. However, to develop a new museum is not as easy or if you want to use "as" you should add is not as easy as .....
Hopefully, it is help
Thank you,
