Hello, I have sincerely attempted to write an essay on the GRE-AWA issue topic. Can anyone please correct the essay and let me know my mistakes? Awaiting for your comments.
Thank you
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Issue 6: Video camera is a better documentary tool as compared to written records
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I strongly agree with the speaker's contention that video camera is a better and more accurate documentary tool as compared to written records. Video camera recording has certain advantages that one cannot obtain through written documentation. Thus, the speaker is fair in stating his statement that video camera records supersede written documentation at least to some extent.
Firstly, video camera records are more accurate in recording an incident. One can record anything almost instantly and precisely without any modifications to the real time based incident. For instance, events such as how the first men landed on moon, was recorded by means of a video camera. This video recording could then be used by scientists and researchers to study the surface of moon and the existence of life on moon. Besides, for a layman, it was a rare chance of seeing the surface of moon which he would have just imagined throughout his life time. Thus, video recording has some positive aspects in contrast to written records.
Secondly, video recording can be a major part in today's advanced multimedia system. Anything that is recorded in a place can be broadcasted to any part of the world, thus enabling people to view the incidents. For example, during the Presidential election campaign, not everyone would attend in person, but every citizen should be cognizant of the best candidate before they cast a vote. Video recordings and the broadcastings through news channel might play a vital role for people to make the right decisions in voting their leader in a democratic country. Written records also help in spreading such news, through newspapers, but they do not propagate instantly.
Thirdly, video recordings can serve as depositions in a legal proceeding. Incidents like robbery in a bank or historical documents in a museum can be recorded instantly by means of a hidden video camera and such records can be useful in tracking the thieves during a legal proceeding. Another positive aspect about a video tape is that such records are perennial. Hence, video recordings have surpassed written records, but the advantages of written records cannot be over looked.
Written records although has its own limitations, is the only means of communication in certain pursuits. A poet or a writer cannot communicate his or her thoughts through video recordings. Thus, literature depends on the written records. Certain statistical data that needs to be recorded for some experiments cannot be video recorded. The problem techniques that Scientists and mathematicians formulated decades ago, are all in the form of written records. Therefore, written records do have certain irreplaceable advantages.
In sum, I agree that video recordings are useful in capturing contemporary issues of today's world. But there are certain areas where video recordings cannot substitute written records although can be used as a supporting visual aid to the written records. Video recordings play a critical role where accuracy in recording the credulity of a situation and broadcasting them instantly becomes necessary, but cannot completely replace written records.
Choose gender-inclusive words:
...how the first men people landed on moon, was recorded ...
Thirdly, video recordings can serve as depositions in a legal proceeding. ---Ha ha, good point. I don't know if this is relevant to the topic of making a documentary, but I guess it could be.
In sum, I agree that video recordings are...---Little weak phrases like that are not helpful.
Well, I think you made a good argument! I agree. The best method is to combine writing and video. :-)
This does not seem like a very interesting topic. It is too obvious. What can anyone say about it? Of course video recording technology is great for documentaries.
