Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


'Better future but lost family?' - advantages and disadvantages of studying aboard



kissingyou0912 8 / 23  
Jun 30, 2012   #1
Q: Some people think that the best way to study English is in an English speaking country (U.S, USA, Canada, Australia, New Zeland,...).
What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?


Some people think that the best way to study Engilsh is in an English speaking conntry. In reality, more and more students now have an intention of going abroad to study especially in developed countries country such as U.S, USA or Australia. Obviously, this can be very advantageous and beneficial but studying abroad does have some disadvantages as well.

To begin with, in my opinion, it is an optimal way to learn English in the country where English is spoken officially. This can help students improve their English remarkably particulary listening and speaking skills in a relative short time because when pupils live in a foreign country, they will have chances to communicate in English with people all the time at school as well as at home. In the same way, they will able to speak the language more confidently and fluently. Moreover, studying abroad enables students to speak in a proper cultural context, which is impossible in a class setting.

Another pro that studying abroad provides students is an expansive knowledge of the world. Not only their social development is improved but they may also become more mature and dependable. By studying abroad, pupils have the ability to enlarge their knowledge of various customs, traditions and culture and consequently can take a balanced view of their current society. For instance, weekend excursions to museums and cultural sites allows students to meet people form different backgrounds of all the countries. These first-hand experiences are really helpful to learn how to use the language correctly and politely to improve the communication skills in diverse situations, helping them lead a flexible life. More importantly, students are able to expand their worldview and reduce bias and discrimination towards foreign people.

Finally, studying abroad can be students to build up a strong and reliable character. Students are able to learn to be independent of parents and to live by their own. Moreover, they have chances to become self-motivated, autonomous and willing to embrace challenges. Consequently, they can cope with any situations and problems they encounter.

However, while studying abroad is useful, it does have some disadvantages including homesickness and unexpected problems in students' studying. Firstly, studying abroad means students have to leave their family, relatives and friends behind to come and live in a completely strange country. It is understandable if they feel homesick or anxious. Due to the infamiliar traditions, pupils probably find it difficult to make friends or get used to the change in conditions and unlike surroundings. Additionally, unexpected problems may arise such as potential language barriers and discrimination. Pupils do not know what to expect so it is impossible for them to prepare everything in advance. Although they may be able to communicate to other people on a holiday, for example, it is an entirely different situation when they talk to their teachers and friends daily in a foreign language.

In conclusion, it is both advantageous and disadvantageous to study abroad. For some people, this can be an important step determining their future but some find it a lot easier to live with their family in their own country. In general, every should weigh up the pros and cons before they decide the right way for their life in the future.

Thanks in advance !

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 661  
Jun 30, 2012   #2
Hi, The essay looks good. I have some suggestions that u can find them below:

study Engilsh is in an English speaking conntry.

do not copy the topic

In reality, more and more students now have an intention of going abroad to study especially in developed countries country such as U.S, USA or Australia

What is the difference between this sentence and the previous one. Do not repeat the ideas.

This can help students remarkably improve their English remarkably, particularl y in listening and speaking skills inover a relative short time because when pupils live in a foreign country, they will have chances to communicate in English with people all the time at school as well as at home.

this sentence is too long. Therefore, I deleted some parts of it with intent to make it shorter.

In the same way, they will able to speak the language more confidently and fluently ---->This statement is not different from the previous sentence; Repetition!!!

dependable

dependable or undependable??

Finally, studying abroad can

When you use "Finally" it means that this is the final paragraph. It would be better to say "the last/final positive aspect", for example.

Finally, studying abroad can be students to build up a strong and reliable character. Students are able to learn to be independent of parents and to live by their own. Moreover, they have chances to become self-motivated, autonomous and willing to embrace challenges. Consequently, they can cope with any situations and problems they encounter.

Give an example to support what you claimed here. How do they learn to be independent of their parents? How does living abroad may influence the students' character?

to leave their families

Add a conclusion at the end of each paragraph in the body.

Regards
Ahmad
OP kissingyou0912 8 / 23  
Jul 1, 2012   #3
Thanks a lot zafari. :)

kissingyou0912:
dependable
dependable or undependable??

undependable. I 'm mistaken. @@.
rsr1919 1 / 4  
Jul 1, 2012   #4
To begin with, in my opinion

Either one of these works, but using both makes it wordy. You should probably go with "To begin with" instead of "in my opinion", since "in my opinion" makes your information less credible, as you blatantly tell the reader to regard it as an opinion.

can be students to build up a

can help students build up, instead. Don't think students can be "studying abroad"

the infamiliar traditions

unfamiliar.

pupils probably find

ffs cut the ethos-damaging terminology. Colleges hate "maybe", "probably", "sort of", half-assed words like that which ruin any feeling of confidence in an essay.

Although they may be able to communicate to other people on a holiday, for example,

Move the "for example" to the beginning, or it seems like you're exemplifying people communicating on a holiday, instead of exemplifying how people can't prepare everything in advance, though admittedly this one is mostly speculation.


Home / Writing Feedback / 'Better future but lost family?' - advantages and disadvantages of studying aboard
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳