Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

TOEFL: Which is better- Learning foreign language in home or host country?


max2014 3 / 4  
Mar 12, 2014   #1
Writing Task:

Many people have learned a foreign language in their own country; others have learned a foreign language in the country in which it is spoken. Which is better?

Given advantages of each and support your viewpoint.

Response:

Our World has varied cultures and each culture has its own language. It has become essential for a person to learn at least one foreign language as one do interacts with foreigners once in a lifetime and learning a foreign langauge adds on to a person skill-set as well. Also, I think its better that people learn foreign language in their own country. The reasons for holding that opinion are illustrated in the subsequent paragraphs.

First of all, it is not possible for everyone to visit a foreign country to learn a foreign language as it requires large amount of money and legal formalities. In the earlier periods, it was not easy to find a teacher to learn a foreign languge. But with the advent of globalization, one can easily find a teacher in their own country. For example, in Indian sub-continent there are large number of centers opened for getting trained in variety of languages like french, german etc.

Second, colleges and universities have introduced foreign language course as a part of their curriculum. Students can choose any language from the set of languages available at a university. So, it is very easy to learn a foreign in our own country. Also, highly qualified foreign language teachers are easily accessible in various schools and colleges.

Third, technology has also played a great role in reducing the separation between learning a foreign languge in our own country. A large number of foreign language courses are available online and there are various forums where people can discuss their problems on different foreign languages.

To sum up, it is better for people to learn a foreign language in their own country. It is cost effective and there is a pool of opportunities available now to accomplish the same.

Please comment on the above writing and provide suggestions for improvement.

JasS 10 / 30  
Mar 12, 2014   #2
you used one phrases like " foreign language ", " in their own country " many times, use their synonyms

write with CAPITAL LETTER these words: French, German and English...

I think that you should also learn how to use articles!

I've mentioned only simple mistakes!
jon_snow 8 / 28 5  
Mar 12, 2014   #3
example example example... give specific example to support your reasons. I already talked about this on your previous essay. Therefore, i am not going to bore you by saying the same thing here.

another problem with your essay is, your word count is low. Moreover, your body para is too brief. Make those elaborate. The easiest way to make a good size body para is writing specific example.

Don't introduce new idea/reason in your conclusion. This will hurt your score.

It is cost effective and there is a pool of opportunities available now to accomplish the same.

you have not mentioned anything that supports learning new language in one's homeland will be cost effective. however, you wrote learning new language from a foreign country requires more money; we can infer the cost effectiveness from this. but, don't do that. Try to write as clearly as possible. Always remember, as much work load as you put on your reader/grader, that much chance of losing score you have increased. So write clearly and perfectly.

wish you all the best :)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 12, 2014   #4
Our World has varied cultures and each culture has its own language.

May be this is not so true. How about UK, USA and Australia? They now have their own cultures but share more or less the same language. So, you've got to be careful when you make generalizations. Well, I suggest the following lines for your hook;

Due to heavy globalization, the world has become closer and closer. Therefore having literacy on foreign languages can be very advantageous for people today.
sandipsinh 37 / 90 3  
Mar 13, 2014   #5
Hi
you have got good correction suggestion and i will like to add one too - try to write at least 350 words - mention examples depending on the topic.

If you are trying to prepare for TOEFL - view this link of
1) Notefull Toefl mastery - would receive good help.


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Which is better- Learning foreign language in home or host country?