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It's better to live in a small town than a big city


Doanhty 2 / 1  
Nov 1, 2013   #1
Hi everybody!
Today I have to write essay : " It's better to live in small town than a big city" I have just finished it and i need your help to make my essay better. please read,comment and give me some advices or idea. Thanks you :)

My Essay :
Nowaday, People often have 2 selection for their living place. Some people prefer to live in small town and Others prefer to live in the big city. I think one of the most important decisions that human have to take is to choose his living place where you can feel more comfortable,more suitable and happier. Peronally, I think setting down in modern big city is more beneficial. Through my essay I will analyze one of the most important reasons which is Chance of having a better carreer.

Big cities has bigger market, companies or corporations are more famous so of course you can have more chance to found a better work . I have a same age friend. He study IT in an university in Thai Nguyen city , It's a city which smaller than Ha Noi capital. He graduated from a famous university but after 1 year in Thai Nguyen he still unemployed

Because number of companies fewer means you will have less chance. There are too many student graduated from university each year but number of companies is only slightly increased. Many student together apply in to one company. Having too much CV of employees but employment in the company are limited so maybe you must to win hundred of people,who applied together with you in order to have employment in the company and my close friend can't do that.

After that I advice him to go to Ha Noi to find another chance and he agreed. He went to Ha Noi and applied to some companies. Amazing! Having 3 companies want to contract with him after only 2 months. He contracted with FPT corporation and work as a Software Specialist about computer. Now he still work there and feeling very happy when being a FPT's staff. From this example we can see that there are more activities in big cities that help people to expose their chance. It is clear from the example that we can have better opportunities in big cities.

In a nutshell, I am still positive living in big city is Hanoi where will allow me have better work chance. And I believe that many people will move to here for the same reason.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Nov 1, 2013   #2
Nowaday, People often have2 selection for their living place

.... Don't use numbers in essay writing unless it is something to do with time or dates.
Also, this is your hook and it needs to be strong enough to catch the reader's attention. This sounds a bit stereotype. Tell something like;

The place we live has a great impact on our lives.

Through my essay I will analyze one of the most important reasons which is Chance of having a better carreer.

This is not necessary to say. The reader expects it from you.


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