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[TOEFL] Always better to do the shopping in the big shopping mall


simonlee726 2 / 2  
Oct 13, 2013   #1
topic: It is always better to do the shopping in the big shopping mall where people can buy everything there than in small shops only special in certain items.

"To do the shopping in the big shopping mall or not: That is the question." Although a lot of individuals tend to think that we can buy everything in a big shopping mall, I still regard that do the shopping in small shops only special in certain items is better for me.

First of all, people are able to find out special and ingenious items in small shops. Namely, since small shops are only special in certain things, the owner can concentrate truly on those special products and make them become best and one and only. For example, as I yearn to purchase a gift such as a pair of earrings for my beloved girl friend, I can go to a unique handicraft shop to select one for her, but not go to a huge shopping mall. In there, I am able to discover a great variety of earrings made creatively and obtain some special services such as carving my girl friend's on the earrings. Hence, shopping In small shops is still better than in the huge shopping mall.

Secondly, products in the small shops are better and more delicate than in big shopping mall. To illustrate, because the owners of small stores have to choose some unique styles such as Indian or korean styles for their shops to attract a variety of customers, they must provide customers some special and exquisite products linking to themes of their shops; on the contrary, big shopping malls market all kinds of items wholesaled for a large bulk, so they cannot focus on merely one or two products and make them decent and desirable. For example, the purposes of people going to big shopping malls are seeking cheaper and more variable products such as vegetables, meat and commodities, but not for better and more delicate items like sophisticated handicrafts or clothes. Therefore, shopping In small shops is far preferable than big shopping plazas.

Last but not least, do the shopping in small stores is able to have better personal and exclusive services. According to the Time magzine, the most important thing in nowadays service industries is wonderful and intimate services. For instance, as people go into a small shop such as a shoe shop, since there are not a host of customers, clerks can efficiently provide different products for people and interpret variable pros and cons of every products. Moreover ,during the time of selecting favorite products, clerk may give people some water to drink or some snacks to eat. Never will these special services be provided in the big shopping malls because there are tremedous people in there. Accordingly, do the shopping in the small shops is definitely more favorable than in huge shopping malls.

Undeniably, do the shopping in a large shopping plaza may have some merits. For example, people can save a great deal of money and time as they purchase things such as food or commodities there, since things in huge shopping mall are tremendously wholesale, they will give us a cheaper price to buy them. I, however, assert otherwise. Sophisticated and extraordinary products, after all, are the mainstream in society of nowadays.

Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Oct 13, 2013   #2
"To do the shopping in the big shopping mall or not: That is the question."

I don't think this is a good hook. For this task you need to open your essay with a sentence that has relevance to your topic as well as it can grab the reader's attention. Your writing should not sound like a direct response to the question posed by the prompt.

I still regard that do the shopping in small shops only special in certain items is better for me.

This sentence sounds very confusing. State clearly your position in the argument. From the other paragraphs I find you prefer to do shopping in small shops. So, say that clearly;

However, I personally prefer to do shopping in small shops for several reasons.
yusukexo 2 / 3  
Oct 14, 2013   #3
You summarize your statement at the end of each paragraph.
Like:

Hence, shopping In small shops is still better than in the huge shopping mall.

It clarifies your position and helps us understand what you assert. But, you had better summarize what you states in the specific paragraph.
In the case above, you should say:
Hence, I'm more likely to buy local and special items if I go to a small shop than if I go to a big shopping mall.

Have fun!!


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