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Short essay - Is it better to stay on the safe side?

haika 1 / -  
May 20, 2015   #1
In life we take risks for many different reasons. We may want to win some money and bet on a few sports, stand up to our boss and endanger our position or decide to climb a tall mountain, one which may take our life. Such predicaments bring excitment to our lives and because of them we feel like we can change things, as the future depends on our decision. Whether our choice was correct though, only time will answer, for it may change our initial judgement.

As it goes, if we refrain from taking the plunge, there will be no change, as in no improvement or harm. Such a scenario is fine if we have some future plans or are striving against a goal. On the other hand, an everyday where there is no endevour to improve or to succeed may leave many unsatisfied and empty, because of their seemingly uneventful lives. They might regret not taking the chance when they could.

We often abandon the safe side to follow our principals and as such are satisfied with our reaction no matter the outcome. These are distinct circumstances, as we feel our choice was correct, even if our position in whatever way worsens. Our morals guide us to help a victim of a robbery and assault, even if we may get hurt in the process. There may exist regret if we end up a cripled individual, but apart from such situations, we would be satisfied with our action, as we would think we have done a good deed.

We often change our opinion of our decision as time goes. Immediatly after we take a risk and we find out we have made a mistake we regret our choice. But in time we may be happy with our plunge, since otherwise we would live in darkness, for we would not have the answer to the 'What if...'.

In the end, if we judge a plunge upon our deathbed as correct, then it is correct. That is the final verdict, as time can no longer change our view.

Thank you for reading.
*edit: Thank you for changing the category.

lcturn87 - / 435 236  
May 20, 2015   #2
Thank you for allowing me to read your essay and help assist you with any needed changes. Here are some suggestions regarding how you can improve:

If you want to express standing up to your boss, you can also say jeopardize our position. If you state these are risks but change it to a form of excitement, this could leave your reader confused. You should continue to say risk to describe the predicaments risks have on a person's life. I'm confused by this last sentence. Do you mean that only time will tell if we have the made the right choice after taking a risk?

The second paragraph is quite confusing. The ideas are a bit confusing. I am going to try to summarize what I feel you are trying to express. Only with risks, can we bring about change. If you have no goal to improve or change, you may experience an uneventful life. I think you just need to slightly change your sentence so that the reader can understand your ideas better. The last sentence is pretty good.

The third paragraph I would use a transition word such as, "For example" to begin describing how morals guide us." You should revise the beginning of the next sentence: "There maybe regrets..." Cripled should be spelled crippled.

If you end the first sentence in the fourth paragraph with goes, it becomes incomplete. You can say over time or as time progresses. There is a misspelling of the word immediately. Place a comma after mistake I would delete, "But" and begin the next sentence with, "In". Start a new sentence with "Otherwise". You could keep the question or you could state, "we would still have doubts".

I would recommend changing plunge to risk throughout the paper.
Trias 23 / 41 14  
May 21, 2015   #3
Hi, first of all I really enjoy how you can manage to construct such flow and make the readers understand each sentence effortlessly. However, it will really improve your essay if you could provide some more specific examples in the body paragraph how people had choosen to take risk then regret it.

Good luck!

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