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The bicycle advice from my father


dobalilago 3 / 10  
Aug 17, 2012   #1
Hi, the prompt is about the best advice I have taken in my life and how it affected my life. I am really worried about my grammar errors and sentences that don't even make sense. If you guys could look those up for me, I would really appreciate it :)

An old Thai saying goes that "if you are a very heedful person, you are good but will never succeed." Based on the proverb, people have to know how to take risks sometimes in their lives. My father, who enjoys risky things, used to talk about this saying a lot when I was young. He has organized several venture businesses and became successful for a bit, but he also has experienced severe failing later. However, he always told me about his belief: a person can grow up only by facing fear confidently. I couldn't quite understand the value of taking a risk because I was a coward who sought to be safe rather than challenging. By the time I went into middle school, my father bought a bicycle to teach me how to ride it because I abhorred even thinking about riding a bike. Yes, I was that timid. However, my intimidated mind changed into a brave one by my father's bike advice, which is "when losing balance, try to make turns with your body to the direction you are falling off."

The small advice, which is an obvious fact in some ways, became the most significant guide over the rest of my life. In other words, it was the most important advice that I received in my life. I, who was a coward, didn't agree with his advice at first and handled the thing in the opposite way. If I lost balance to left, I turned to right, which apparently led me to fall down and injure myself. However as I kept falling off, my father didn't do anything but stare at me coldly. Agitated by toppling over too much, I decided to take his advice just in case. Marvelously, it worked out and I was now able to balance when riding a bicycle. At that moment, my father reached and had me ride on his back. When we arrived at home, he put some antiseptic on my grazed skin and told me I would do a great work in the future.

Through my bike experience, I finally realized the true meaning of facing fear. If I have a problem, I face it right away even though it's hard and risky. Had I lost this attitude, I wouldn't have been able to adjust to living in a new country and speaking a different language. I definitely had a hard time overcoming cultural difference at the first time I came to the U.S. For example, a Korean doesn't look straightly to someone who is trying to give a speech because it's considered to be rude. On the other hand, Americans keep making eye contacts to see if they understand each other correctly. It took me about 5 months to finally understand this whole thing, having hard time what to do when talking to people who try to inform me about some rule. Also, using American bathroom was a real hard one. A Korean household's bathroom has a drain on the floor, so even though people pour water all over the floor, the water goes down through the drain; then the people don't have to worry about all the mess on the floor. Obviously, it isn't like that in America, and I had quite difficulty managing not to spill water on floor in my host family's house.

As I faced some of troubles like those two, I thought of the bike experience. It really encouraged me to confidently go through and solve the problems. If my host parents expected me to do something, I did a job twice as great as that. When some of my American classmates wanted to talk to me, I looked right forward to them, even too awkwardly in the eye. In this way, as a result of my "so much" effort, I am 100 percent adjusted to American environment and even when I go back to Korea now, people around me say that I have become very much Americanized. To that extent, the little bike advice my dad gave ultimately affects me until now. I appreciate the advice and my father.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Aug 17, 2012   #2
people have to know howto take a riskssometimes in critical moments of their lives

who is an adventurous personenjoys risky things ,

used to talk about this saying a lot when I was a xx year old childyoung

You can make this part of the essay more attractive if you write a very short story through which your father said that saying. Portray an interesting event to attract the attention of the reader.

he also has also experienced severe

about his beliefs

a person can grow up only by facing fear confidently

----> Suggestion :" If a person bravely face frightening an difficult things, the self-development of him/her is guaranteed."

couldn't

Do not use contractions

I couldn'tnotquitecompletely understand the valueworth of taking a risk because I was a cowardcautious person who sought to be safe rather than living in challenging situations

my father bought me a bicycle to teach me how to ride

I abhorred even thinking about riding a bike was frightening for me

which iswas "when losing balance, try to make turns with your body to the direction you are falling off."

Hope the comments help

Ahmad
OP dobalilago 3 / 10  
Aug 18, 2012   #3
Thank you very much, Ahmad! One more question, does the proverb actually make sense to you? I think it's kinda awkward to describe it in English. What it's trying to say is that people will not succeed unless taking risks and challenges. Could i make it sound better?
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Aug 18, 2012   #4
How about this one:"Taking risk is the key of success". As far as I know, a proverb is short and to the point.
OP dobalilago 3 / 10  
Aug 19, 2012   #5
Thank you very much. I will use that one for sure.


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