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Big city have many entertainment centers, better learning conditions and more jobs there

pnthien2451 1 / 1  
Nov 25, 2014   #1
Some people prefer to live in a small town, others prefer to live in a big city.

Where would you prefer to live? Some people want to live in a small town while others like to live in a big city. For me, there are many reasons why I prefer to live in a big city.

First of all, in a big city, there are many entertainment centers. After working hard, I can go to cinema or park with my friends in order to relax. Besides, if I want to go shopping, I can go to the supermarket, which offers many high-quality produces. This helps me feel comfortable and joyful.

Second, living in a big city has better learning conditions than living in a small town. A big city has many schools with modern facilities. For example, universities were equipped with devices such as projectors, cassettes player, computers. In addition, teachers are qualified and experienced. These are very useful and convenient for the study of everyone.

Finally, there are many opportunities to find jobs when living in a big city. There are many companies and factories that need engineers and workers. You can find jobs that are suitable to your ability. For instance, if you are a student, you can work a part time at a store or restaurant. You will earn enough money to making a living.

In conclusion, with the advantages above, I really love living in a big city.

please help me edit this essay. Thank you so much.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Nov 25, 2014   #2
Hien, your essay is too short and does not follow the essay writing guidelines. Please remember the following when writing your essay:

1. The introduction must contain the prompt statement, a summary of the discussion to follow, and your point of view.
2. The body of the essay must be at least 2 paragraphs long. Each paragraph must contain at least 3 sentences per paragraph.
3. Your point of view must be stated as a stand alone paragraph and should not be a part of the conclusion or concluding statement.
4. The concluding statement should be structured to restate the prompt, a summary of facts, and an emphasis on your point of view.

Your conclusion is the weakest part of the essay and should be improved. The overall essay has room for improvement provided your fix it using the above instructions. There are a number of grammatical errors int he essay that we can correct after you have fixed up the essay requirements :-)
OP pnthien2451 1 / 1  
Nov 25, 2014   #3
Hi :)
Thank you for your comments
I will edit my essay
This essay is limited to about 200 words
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Nov 25, 2014   #4
Then your essay should have a minimum of 50 words per paragraph. Try not to use word fillers like so, besides, etc. You will also be able to better discuss the essay within 50 words per if you use one paragraph to support the big city, one for the small town, and another for your personal opinion. If you do it that way, you cover all of the necessary topic discussions while presenting the most minimal, but important facts in support of your opinion. Just remember that you do not need a lot of words to make your point. The use of personal experiences also helps in this type of discussion but it needs to be a deeper reason than what you are presenting at the moment.

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