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Big controversy whether employees should switch their jobs regularly or not


dongnguyenrobo 1 / 1  
Aug 5, 2018   #1
Some people think that people who chose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to have a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


one career path or experiencing different sectors?



Essay:
Whether employees should regular switch their jobs or not has arose a strong controversy among concerning people. Despite the benefits of changing jobs, it is my opinion that having a long commitment within a field is more advantageous.

On the one hand, there is a variety of reasons why staffs have a tendency of choosing to seek for new jobs. Firstly, it gives workers an easier access to master a wide range of vital soft skills. In deeds, the more job seekers start new jobs, the more different skills their learn from various working environments. For instance, some financial analysits who are extremely professional at analysing financial statements and economic trends, may find it interesting to learn presentation skill when they move to be spellbinders. Secondly, a number of seniors find suitable paths after failing at serveral first jobs. Let's take a Vietnamese businessman - Quoc Anh as a telling example, not until the age of over 40, after leaving some positions as manufactoring managers in many factories, did he become succesfull with starting-up a retail outlets chain.

One the other hand, I believe that staying long in the same sector is beneficial in some ways. Initially, staffs are bestowed upon the chances to get fast-tracked promotion in their career laders. It is undeniable that with longer periods of dedication for the thriving of the organizations, employees are more highly appriciated. Besides, they also earn bigger remuneration package to meet their needs such as luxurious cars or houses. Further more, commiting with a job is conducive to strengthening the brandnames of employees. Irfferutably, on the ground of deeply understading about the companies they work for, staffs thoroughly aware of strengths and defficiencies of the businessese so that they could contribute valuable and crucious ideas to improve the productivity. As a result, they mark themselve on other's respect, leading to increase their job satisfaction.

By the way of conclusion, although switching jobs time by time can be advantageous in their own ways, it seems to me that developing career path in the same sector bring more bright sights.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4772  
Aug 6, 2018   #2
Dongz, I am not going to continue reading the content of your essay because you already made a mistake in the TA section of the scoring bracket. You did not respond properly to the discussion question, which means that your TA score will be 1. That indicates that your response is not in accordance with the prompt requirements. Such a score, added to the other GRA, C&C, and vocabulary problems of your presentation means that you will not be able to get the minimum score of 5 with this presentation. Respond properly to the TA section requirements and you are almost guaranteed to get at least a 5 or 5.5 in the final scoring presentation.

The correct response to this, based on your remaining discussion would have been, "I partially agree with this statement." It is the response to the question " To what extent do you agree or disagree?" that provides the 2 paragraph reasoning discussion for this essay. You instead said; "It is my opinion..." You were not being asked for your opinion directly. You were being asked for the amount of agreement or disagreement that you have with the statement based upon a personal opinion. Those are 2 different presentations. Your approach was more of a direct response to a direct question approach. However, the approach for this essay was an explanatory opinion explanation in the body of paragraphs instead.

It would do you well to read more sample essays from this forum in order to better familiarize yourself with the various questions and response methods for the Task 2 essay. By learning from the advice already given to others, you will speed up your learning process in terms of proper essay writing and response requirements because you will avoid certain mistakes immediately in your writing style.
OP dongnguyenrobo 1 / 1  
Aug 6, 2018   #3
Dear Holt,
a great thanks to you! You give me extremely valuable comments. Would you mind giving me additional comment on this edited version (I just replace the introduction)

Thanks!
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It is true that some employees believe that commiting with one career path is the best way to gain advantages rather than regularly switching jobs. Personally, I agree with this perspective. The reasons for it are twofold.

On the one hand...


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