This is a rough draft of a truly miniature essay which was assigned by my Japanese Topics professor. The assignment requires that it is a 2-paragraph essay. In the first paragraph, we are supposed to explain what the "big three" personalities are (assuming the person knows nothing about Japan). In the second, we are supposed to identify which of the archetypes we relate with the most.
I feel like I'm struggling to write this because it is so short! I don't have enough room to talk about what I want, and thus the essay feels very abrupt and general.
Thank you for any input you would be willing to share with me! Grammatical corrections are also welcome!
The Big Three
Whether reading your favorite manga, watching a popular Japanese television show, or observing a Japanese sports match, one of the most consistent influences in Japanese society can be seen; the personality archetype of the "big three". These archetypes stem from the personalities of three men whom are accredited for bringing about important changes in a crucial time during Japan's history. Oda Nobunaga united Japan under a single sword, Toyotomi Hideyoshi forged a hierarchy that could last through the ages, and Tokugawa Ieyasu had the patience and tact to consolidate the new system. There is a metaphor for each person's personality in which they say, "Nobunaga would kill a bird that would not sing, Hideyoshi will make it sing, and Ieyasu would wait till it sings." By using these as general classifications, I believe we can identify shared virtues within ourselves.
For example, if I had to pick a spot between the three that best describes me, I'd be predominantly between Hideyoshi and Ieyasu. While I certainly wish that I always had the patience and subtlety of Ieyasu, I often over-estimate myself with my ambitions; a downfall which, as a result of his failed invasion of Korea, has been associated with Hideyoshi's personality type. On the other hand, when faced with a critical task, I can be very decisive and calculating; a key characteristic of Ieyasu's type. Thus, even though I don't match any of the archetypes perfectly, I can still recognize myself somewhere between them.
Not bad. Try elaborating on the three personalities a bit more in your first paragraph. For instance, you could explain the saying that you quote near the end, and identify key personality traits by name that would be associated with each person. That might give you more to work with when you come to situate yourself among them in the second paragraph.
Well, about the space limitation, remember: you could, if you had to, write this whole essay in a single sentence. You could perhaps capture the meaning of anything in a single word.
For example, If I had to pick a spot between the three...
Above, there is no room for "for example", because each of these paragraphs is very important. Examples are "supporting things", but these 2 paragraphs must stand on their own.
Also remember that a paragraph can be as long as you want it to be! :) Elaborate more in para #2, so you can show DEEP understanding of the big three. This is good stuff, thanks for sharing it!
