Bill Gates' presentation about diseases, education and technology evolution

TED Summary : Bill Gates - Mosquitos, Malaria And Education

Bill gates was shown the number of children died who before ages 5 since 1960 decreased until 2005 from between 20-19 ages and between 0-10 ages in million. Caused of malaria from an insect like mosquitos. The disease are around the world and can infected anything else. There was not too many income for malaria. It should be need some special treatment for this which people had been surfered. Then, there are a way for resolved malaria, being together for support it can from big communities. While, It was still confusing about collects fund to reached this vision. Then there a different topic about education to create revolution by technology. Which are high education become an opportunity for better economic and getting better for life. So, that impact can effect for developing a country. From the data over 30% childrens does not finished their education. Even you passed graduation from high scholl you have to hard working to passed coleague. The important thing was had great teachers. It must be the key. Because their had a lot exerience. The last, should be a good system organize to do this. Hopefully, there is a chance for be better generations in the future.

Dear Andika, here are some advices for your summary,

Bill gates was shown the number of children died --> I think it is better to change it like, in the bill gates presentation, he showed the number of children

Caused of malaria from an insect like mosquitos --> malaria is transmitted through insect, for instance, mosquitoes

the disease is...

please pay more attention to your subject verb agreement


it should be written there is a way...

your writing is actually good. yet you need to be careful

hope this helps,

Jawa

... number of children died who (have not been 5years) before ages 5
Caused (the cause) of malaria from an insect
It should be need (use V3 because passive) some special treatment