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IELTS TASK2 BIODIVERSITY MAINTAINING - animals and plants are being extincted gradually


ahmed123 1 / -  
Apr 28, 2017   #1
The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognized as increasing numbers of species come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity.

Increasing the numbers of species under threat in the nature is the focus of biodiversity. Problems has developed in the recent years threatening the biodiversity as animal and plants are being extincted gradually, a solution suggested is giving more attention to such topic and do an actual actions. This essay will discuss and explain the problem and the solution that could help maintaining biodiversity.

The problem can be addressed as animal and plants comprising the ecosystem are constantly being attacked. As human since industrial revolution in the 20th century made a huge development regarding technology and transportation. However, natural plants and animals has been effected negatively as part of the species has already extincted. Thus impacting biodiversity wisely and cause a disruption in our ecosystem. For illustration, a research from oxford university in 2009 has concluded that polar bears has shown a dramatic decrease in numbers as the global temperature is on rise, this has led to disruption in their ecosystem putting them under threat of extinction.

A solution suggested by showing more effort from government, media and people to treat this problem as a priority. Industrial cities must be observed and charged against the pollution and gases they produce if they do not obeyed the rules and follow the instruction. Also, media must display shows and reports illustrating the damaging effect of pollution and random hunting of rare species and people must take actions against wrong behaviors threatening biodiversity. For example, CNN reported the intensive concern given to this important problem in Japan as it ranked 1st in 2014 by having the cleanest cities in the world.

To conclude, high attention must be given to rare species from plants and animals as the are considered the component of biodiversity. The details and solution must be addressed and taken seriously by every part. Thus biodiversity can be maintained.
okorobiadimma14 6 / 82 50  
Apr 28, 2017   #2
Ahmed, your opening statement is totally contrary to the content of the prompt of your essay. The statement 'Increasing the numbers of species under...' means that Biodiversity is studied so that more organisms would be under threat, but that's not what the prompt depicts. The idea in the prompt is that biodiversity became a necessity because more species are placed under threat increasingly. Also, the opening paragraph failed to introduce your essay properly. The prompt did not require you to dwell on the cause of threat to species diversity, it only requires the solution. Therefore, the best approach to answering the prompt is to introduce the various options you wish to suggest as probable ways to ensure and maintain species diversity (biodiversity). After that, you can go ahead and discuss these points in the second and third paragraphs of your essay and then conclude your write-up. I am afraid you did not answer to the prompt because, in the first instance, you lacked the understanding of the ideas in the prompt. I must commend you sentence construction although there were inconsistencies and typos that made your current draft to lack cohesion. I suggest you engage in more practices. Always try to understand the prompt before you start answering otherwise you may end up writing an off-the-point essay.


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