Hi everybody, here I am again. Please let me know what you think and what to improve to get band 8!
The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to begin to fall over the next 50 years. By 2030 it is estimated that over one third of the population in most developed countries will be aged over 65 and over.
What effects will these predictions have on developed countries if they prove true? What can be done now to deal with this situation?
According to recent statistics, the number of new born in progressive countries has been reducing over the years and it is even more likely that it will continue decreasing by the future 5 decades. This might encourage the young population to move away, reducing the number of potential workers. Therefore, institutions should consider possible solutions to this situation.
Firstly, if such hypothesis turned out to be true, then society would change dramatically. As a possible consequence, the number of still active people who are looking for a job will be decreasing over the years and the number of workers that industries could hire to do heavy works, which the aging people would not be able to do, will result decreased accordingly. As a result, this would stop the progress of such developed countries. Furthermore, as the young population decreases in size, teenagers will start to look for other countries, where they may find more people of the same age as their. This will end up in a general exodus, reducing even more the young population demographics.
As for possible ways to tackle this problem, governments should encourage families to procreate, together with promoting among the young people reasons for not leaving. For instance, in order to enhance the birth rate central authorities could provide financial aids for large families with more than two children. Not only this would help people with many babies to live without economic disabilities, but also it would encourage new families to become bigger. What is more, certain places can be dedicated only to the young population, so that they will feel more motivated to stay inside the country.
In conclusions, expectations for the future foresee an aging state with less and less workers. However, governments can handle this by financially helping large families and making the country attractive for the youth.
Hello mormontre
I applied some adjustments to the text so that it sounds better:
According [...] According to the recent statistical data, the number of newly born children in the developed countries has been on a constant decrease over the course of the last few decades and it will continue to be the case in the near future.
This [...] This, in turn, is likely to result in causing the affected society to experience the lack of workers.
Firstly [...] First...
then [...] the society...
consequence [...] The society's fabric will undergo a dramatic transformation, with the population of old/retired people becoming to represent its largest segment, which in turn means that there would be less and less socially productive individuals left - something that will inevitably result in making it increasingly harder for such a society to generate wealth.
teenagers [...] will begin to consider relocating to other countries...
together [...] along with encouraging young people not to leave.
to enhance [...] to boost up the birth rate...
to live [...] without experiencing any economic hardships...
become bigger [...] grow larger in size
certain places [...] certain areas...
In conclusion [...] because of the mentioned problem, the affected countries' future does not appear particularly bright.
I hope it helped. Regards.
