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IELTS essay: Blood sports should be banned.


shirleybouvier 1 / -  
Nov 28, 2012   #1
Blood sports have become a hot topic for debate in recent years. As society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed. Blood sports should be banned.

To what extent to you agree or disagree?
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The issue of blood sports has been gradually becoming significant over the past years, where influences have been seen in animals. Some advocate that blood sports should be banned, whereas some oppose to the idea. Both arguments will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

It appears that blood sports are considered to be popular activities in a number of places, which represents that some population enjoy this particular sport for several reasons. Rumour has it that blood sport is one way to bring excitement to life for both the contestants and audience. Seemingly, prizes are often offered for the winners of blood sports, which can be regarded as an achievement as well as a source of income for some people. For instance, the champions of animal fighting are usually rewarded with a certain amount of money and meanwhile the audience is entertained. Thus, blood sports are considered to be rewarding and enjoyable activities.

Despite all the disagreeing discussion of the topic mentioned above, there are still some certain agreeing arguments exist for this particular issue. It is usually agreed that blood sports are inhumane and violent to animals due to the fact that it can lead to an increase on the deaths of animals. Obviously, the animals are incapable of expressing their feelings as human beings do, which signifies that those with great involvement in this specific sport, use the animals as a tool for entertaining experiences and gaining money even though they know the animals are vulnerable. In fact, most injured animals after each fighting are thought to be ignored or treated disrespectfully. For example, exhaustion, dehydration, infection and even death are commonly seen in those animals after the fights in blood sports. Therefore, blood sports should be prohibited.

To sum up, the disagreements upon blood sports definitely outweigh the agreements, which is valuable for the rights of the animals. However, there is still a certain amount of opposing conceptions, which the decision still belongs to the general public.

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Thank you in advance!!
Alicegaga 3 / 4  
Nov 29, 2012   #2
In my opinion,in a formal essay should't mention the word "rumor",It looks like a little inappropriate.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Nov 29, 2012   #3
Hi,

The issue of blood sports has been gradually becoming significant over the past years, where influences have been seen in animals.

This sentence does not convey a clear idea to the reader. Better re-phrase it!

Both arguments will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

It's better to state what your opinion is in the introduction instead of saying the above. That would not only help the reader to follow what your writing but it also earn you marks.

It appears that blood sports are considered to be popular activities in a numberofsome places, which represents that some population enjoy this particular sport for several reasons .... name a few places so that reader would understand.

You need to pay a lot of attention to sentence structuring and clarity of the sentences!


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