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BOARDING SCHOOL FOR CHILDREN - good option for the contemporary parents who doesn't have enough time


ionksm 1 / 1  
Aug 30, 2016   #1
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic.

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children,
while other people disagree for a number of reasons.
Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.


You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.

It is often said that living dormitory together with other pupils during the semester is beneficial for children in terms of all-round educational purpose. However, there are opposed views to point out the inevitable problems caused by it, which I will discuss both view and give a short concluding view.

On the one hand, those who support the living at the school cite various benefits, ranging from the development of self discipline to interpersonal skills. Outside of class, children should follow the ground rules given by educators, contributing to self-development for them rather than excessive reliance on their parents. Furthermore, it appears quite obvious that children might learn naturally the way of life as a group member, for instance with manners in shared room, and attitudes to respect the different life styles from their room-mates. As a last point, some people point out realistic advantages for the children whose parents are dual-incomes, meaning that parents does not have enough time to spend with them.

By contrast, opponents of this view remark that it will inevitably decrease the emotional bond between the children and the other family members including parents and siblings. Besides, children are easily affected by the external circumstances, meaning that they could learn bad behaviour by their age-groups. In that case, it is difficult for parents to guide their children, and they just have to rely on the school system. Lastly, the high cost of living at the school might be a reason why some parents hesitate it.

Overall, it appears to me that boarding school is a better option for the contemporary parents who does not have enough time due to the daily works, but at the same time it needs some supports to bridge emotional distance among parents and children.

akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Aug 30, 2016   #2
Hello Seok..
Welcome to Essay Forum. I am delighted to tell you that you have been the right medium to improve your writing skill. Let me help you to finalize this.


However, there are opposed views to point out the inevitable problems caused by it, which I will discuss both view and give a short concluding view.

Keep in your mind that you should write more than 2 sentences in each paragraph. you can separate those above.
HOWEVER, THERE ARE OPPOSED VIEWS TO POINT OUT THE INEVITABLE PROBLEMS. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS, INCLUDING MY VANTAGE VIEW.

t will inevitably decrease the emotional bond between the children and the other family

Please, pay attention to the meaning of your sentences. Make you sure what you write is what you mind. You write words appropriately.
IT WILL INEVITABLY LOOSEN THE EMOTIONAL BOND....

Besides, children are easily affected by the external circumstances, meaning that they could learn bad behaviour by their age-groups.

You have shown that you can explore your ideas. However, your score can be reduced because you explain your opinions like listing the data. You should include the strong supporting sentence and the example.

but at the same time it needs some supports to bridge emotional distance among parents and children.

to complete your conclusion paragraph, you should add the suggestions for some elements like the government.

OVERALL, IT IS A GOOD JOB.
Good LUCK...
ZiadRasyid24 10 / 15 3  
Aug 30, 2016   #3
Hi ionksm, let me you a hand, this is my suggestions for you. I hope it will develop your writing skill

1. On the one hand , Some peoplethosewho support the living at the school cite because they think it have various benefits (or value) , ranging from..

As a last point (result) , some ...

2. By contrast (in the other hand) , the others who haveopponents of thisthe opposite view remark (...) decrease the emotional bondline between the children ...

I hope it is helpful.. Please recheck it again ...
Keep writing :)
bung ilham 14 / 30  
Aug 30, 2016   #4
aloha Seok, I would try to give you my best;

It is often said that(you could also say"it goes without saying that") living dormitory together with ... However, there are opposedopponent views to point (...) caused by it(refers to?) , which(use an appropriate transition)I will discuss both views and give a short concluding view.(you should better use paraphrase of this sentence)

On the one hand, thosesome who support the living ...

I hope it could be helpful
Keep writing and spirit ^^
Faridadwi18 67 / 104 13  
Aug 30, 2016   #5
Hi ionk,

- ... point out the inevitable problems which is caused by it
- which I will discuss both viewS and give a short concluding view
- those who support the living at the school cite has various benefits
- ByIn contrast, opponents
- ... that they could learn bad behaviour by others in their age-groups

Hopefully it helps.


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