This is a contrast essay. I am not done with it but, if you have any suggestions I would really appreciate it. Thanks!!
We live in a century where technology is growing incredibly fast and is constantly changing. An environment where computers are rapidly replacing books, an era where students much rather use technology as a way of education than to read a physical compact book. Therefore, if schools have enough money to either buy computers or books they should definitely buy computers to help students improve their learning skills. There are numerous reasons why computers are a better choice for students rather than buying an expensive book at a library. Regarding this, Schools should let education be influenced by technology and let it take advantages of the tools that are given to students as we keep progressing. Education has to be thought as an improvement for the population; which means that if the technology is not being incorporated with education than it will not improve and advance as how it is supposed to be.
To start with, schools should buy computers because on the long term they are cheaper. The equivalence of 10 books is the same as buying a new computer, for example; a biology book can easily cost 130 dollars. That amount of money times the number of students at school comes out to a ridiculously high number. A solution to that is to buy computers, which will provide students with as many books that are needed per course. On the other hand, buying books every semester can become extremely expensive and students will only use them once. Whereas, computers can be used numerous times throughout the day for the purpose of education. Computers can be counted as an unlimited number of sources that can be reached through the Internet for students benefit. Thousands and thousands of books can be stored in a computer by using E-book format. An application that will lower the costs of books by more than 50 percent of the price, those books will be available to students whenever they want. To illustrate this, let's imagine a student carrying 5 books on his back for the classes (s)he is taking, it would be obvious for us to interpret that the student is struggling with the weight on his back, to solve this problem the school should provide computers and while doing this, students will also be able to afford more than 4 or 5 books without having to worry about the high prices. For that reason, if schools have enough money to either buy one or the other one, they should choice computers.
As well as computers being cheaper on the long run, they are faster and more efficient than books. Information can be easily found by typing keywords and a fast click on the mouse. Although the information on the Internet can sometimes be unreliable, fortunately, this could be fixed by teaching students the right and proper way to search for information and what websites are reliable for education purposes. As an example of computers being faster than books, we can think of how fast the internet works and the time it would take a student to find the information s(he) is looking for. That time can be wasted very easily, using a computer to find the information will help students find specific documents a lot faster. Due to the twenty-first century being born in a world of everything surrounded by technology at such early age, today's students are not willing to go through every page looking for specific details, when they have been so used to tracking fast information on the computer.
Furthermore, computers not only act as books but as an incredible tool for students to do projects, researchers and, to explore much more interesting information. Unlike books, computers provide a wider and different world of information to students. The new technology we are living through can be overwhelming to older ages that were not born into technology. As a consequence of younger ages being born into this new world, the process of learning through technology can be very effective. The majority of students who use technology are more engaged with their school learning process.
Isabella, I believe that your introduction could have a better thesis presented if you adjust your presentation. Rather than the current content that concentrates immediately on the way that technology has affected the educational system, you should first lay the foundation for your argument. You can present that foundation by first discussing the history of education based upon the reliance of books for information dissemination to the students. Explain the benefits that books provided during that period of development in educational processes.Then introduce the advent of ebooks and how it is slowly becoming the norm for information sharing among students. After clearing stating the content of the succeeding paragraphs in this manner, you can then present your thesis / opinion regarding the topic. Remember, you cannot just present your thesis, you need to make sure that you create the basis for the validity of your argument in your introduction. The rest of the paragraphs should discuss the topics / reasons you summarized in your introduction / thesis.
You have an excellent discussion going on in the second paragraph. I commend you for a very valid contrasting line of reasoning. You clearly depict the cost consideration concerns between books and ebooks for education. I use the term ebooks instead of computers because computers are not the source of information for today's students, it is merely the vessel by which the information is accessed. Therefore, instead of saying computers, I would like to suggest that you use the term ebooks instead. It is more appropriate a term for your contrast essay topic. To be clearer, students in the past stored their information from books in notebooks. So you could say that notebooks are the 20th century form of computers. The difference being that when a notebook fills up, you have to buy a new one in order to store more information. Something that almost does not exist for computer storage. Hmmm... that said, maybe you want to consider changing the prompt of your essay instead? I think we are on to something here :-)
In the paragraph of your essay pertaining to searching for information through keywords, you need to present the way that people used to search for information in the library using the Dewey Decimal System. Remember, in a contrast essay you always need to present 2 reasons or explanations. In this case, you need to show the convenience of internet searching as opposed to library searching.
As for your conclusion, you made the same mistake that most people do when they write their essay ending. You accidentally presented new information when what you should have been doing was wrapping your essay by simply reiterating your stand based upon already provided information in your essay. That is the only major adjustment that I see as necessary in your essay.
Hi, I would like to help you with some of your essay.
First, I believe your contrast is regarding how technology or computers has replaced books. In the first paragraph, you mention that students buy a book from the library. If you are describing a university, you could replace library with "bookstore". You could describe that this is an era in which computers and other technology help students gain access to reading material. Your discussion could then focus on how the format in which information is presented has changed (i.e. from printed books to computers, tablets, e-readers).
Since you have chosen computers rather than books, your thesis should be more clear. Here is a suggestion: "Schools need to use technology to improve and advance education for students". This is just a simple idea, but I think you need to add schools and students to your thesis because you discuss it throughout your paper. Also, you used "not" which implied that technology may not be used, but you are optimistic about it being used.
In the last paragraph of your essay you discuss technology and those who are an older age. Yet, you can consider that people in many different age groups are using tablets and other forms of technology. Thus, if a student is willing to learn, technology can be a useful tool to learn concepts in education.
There were some good examples. I hope this helps!
Thank you so much for your suggestions.
@Vangiespen, my last paragraph is not my concluding paragraph, it is only one of my body paragraphs. I appreciate all of your comments and will make sure to apply all of your suggestions. As for my thesis, I completely understand what you are trying to tell me, I have always struggled to find a good thesis that summarizes all of my main points.
If you could give me some ideas on how to state my thesis or what information to use would be great.
Also, if you need anything with any of your papers I will be more than happy to help you.
There are a number of thesis suggestions that I can make for you based upon what I have read of your work so far. Obviously, the concentration of the thesis will always have to connect somehow to the differences in the educational system from the 20th to the 21st century. Since we are at a turning point in the educational system, it does become a bit difficult to find contrasting themes to deal with it. However, I have some ideas that you can consider such as:
1. It is the perception of students that it is much easier to learn in school in the 21st century that it was in the 20th century. With the advent of computerized education, students now have more access to information and can continue to learn even when outside of the classroom and school premises. Compare and contrast the learning process in the 20th century with the 21st century learning process (Technology vs. traditional learning processes)
2. Unlike in the 20th century, physical libraries can no longer provide the educational and research needs of students. Libraries have limited access to the latest information and books while the internet allows students to access up to the minute information regarding their school topics. Contrast the way libraries function when compared to how the internet allows easy and instant access to necessary information. (libraries vs. computer libraries)
3. Books offer a traditional way of learning and as such, contain traditional information for students to learn from. Ebooks can be edited and updated at any given time to reflect the newest information on a topic. Traditional books require a yearly publication of updates via edits and new editions. These slow down the information dissemination process for students. Compare and contrast the economic benefits and drawbacks of each. (Books vs. ebooks).
You can only use one of the thesis I provided to you for your discussion. There is no way you can summarize all of the points into one contrasting essay because you need to highlight, discuss, and develop a number of important points within your essay. That is why it is best to simply choose one thesis and work thoroughly on that discussion. hope these suggestions can help you. Feel free to use any of my suggestions or use these as a guide to developing your own original contrasting topic for your essay. Whatever you decide to do, we will be sure to help you develop your paper :-)