Hello i'am native German and on a english school. My teacher told me my travele blog would be a C but i really want to improve please Help me! Tomorrow i have to give him 5 finished ones. I hope you can help me on this one.
Bora-Bora
I could barely sleep last night because of the heat we slept in and gosh I miss my own bed! Bora-Bora is an amazing indescribable and marvellous place that you must have visited in your live, never-ending fun is just one of the benefits. Also the hotel price is low in Mai, we saved more than 2000 by booking early. You could smell that brilliance from kilometres away, this fantastic smell came from the Hotels breakfast in the main building. The 70 were worth it. I recommend the fresh croissants with Jam. My tasting senses went in a rollercoaster while eating this masterpiece. However the time was short because our day was set to include diving, flying water jetpack.
There was not much time to savour this amazing, indescribable, brilliant breakfast fully, thanks to the diving lesson we had at 10.00 o'clock. My luck was on fire, because instead of having a long, horrible walk to our lesson, an employee took us on their cart. The diving lessons were horrible. The scary, big, enormous sharks went by swimming. It was the scariest experience I ever had even worse than a ghost train. I wouldn't recommend this scary trip except you feel confident and you have 50 left over.
For me the only way to the next city beach would be with the comfortable and nice hotel bus. When we finally reached the beach a man shot out of the water, but what on earth was he wearing? It was a water jetpack. It is an event that should not be missed in your live. This experience of flying changes your life forever. My first try I completely failed. I ended up having a red face from the crash into the water, nonetheless after a few hours I became really good at it. It is the best thing I have ever done. The wind stroke along my skin a breeze of salt was in my mouth. Everything was silent and I enjoyed the fantastic moment.
Hi. I have two suggestions:
The first is about punctuation: I ended up having a red face ... ==> I ended up having a red face from the crash into the water; nonetheless, after a few hours I became really good at it.
2-My first try I completely failed. ==> at the first try, I completely failed. or My first try completely failed.
I hope you find the above useful.
Thank you a lot, however i still need lots of help to improve but i thank you a lot for trying :)
you're welcome. I read your writing once again to put more comments but the punctuation and typo drew my attention again. I am appending below some of them:
Also, the hotel price is...
kilometers away, ...
However, the time was...
For me, the only way...
after a few hours, I became really good at it
