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"Get bored because nothing to do around" - a new movie theater may be built


samuelbartoli 1 / 1  
Apr 18, 2014   #1
Hi guys.
I wrote a essay about the following topic:
"It has recently been announced that a new movie theater may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer"

I'll appreciate all the comments you have for my essay. Thanks :)

"Get bored because nothing to do around". I know perfectly what that sentence means. Today is another boring weekend as usual in my neighborhood, nothing to do, no places to hang out with my friends. But a new was announced in the neighborhood this sunday that surprised many of us: a movie theater will be built in the next 5 months!. That new was so joyful, not only to me but to all my neighbors also. But why that new is so important? Let me put my happiness in the following reasons that support the construction of the movie theater.

First of all, watching movies at the cinema here in the neighborhood will be a great time to spend with family or friends. We love to watch movies together. Is a plan that all of us in the neighborhood would like to do inside the neighborhood.

Second, the closest movie theater is 25 minutes from my home. If we want to watch movies in the cinema, then we need to go to NoName Cinema which is located in downtown 25 minutes from home. Once the new cinema is ready in our neighborhood, we'll have a movie theater just 5 minutes from home. No more long driving for watching movies, we can save gas car which is expensive.

Next, the movie theater will give more life to the neighborhood. People who live here will make plan to go to the cinema and have fun there; consequently, the life in the neighborhood will be more active.

I can't wait for the new movie theater inauguration day. I have talked with all my friends and people here and they are excited too. For us, this is a great plan we will enjoy it. I'm sure that the new cinema will tweak the sentence "Get bored because nothing to do" to something like "Are you bored? Let's go to the movie theater! They always have great movies to watch". In a nutshell, my whole neighborhood and I will have an awesome time.

Jaanu 3 / 8  
Apr 19, 2014   #2
Today is another boring weekend as usual in my neighborhood, nothing to do, no places to hang out with my friends.

please recheck this sentence. difficult to understand. I think there might be misplace of word order.

But a newnews was announced in the neighborhood this s Sunday that surprised many of us


5 months

don't use 5 -- use five

25 minutes
OP samuelbartoli 1 / 1  
Apr 20, 2014   #3
+Jaanu Thanks for your comment! I'll follow your suggestion :)
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Apr 22, 2014   #4
First of all, watching movies at the cinema here in the neighborhood will be a great time to spend with family or friends. We love to watch movies together. Is a plan that all of us in the neighborhood would like to do inside the neighborhood.

Tell how such experience would provide people with great time and then give your example. This is what I suggest;
First of all, a facility that is built to provide entertainment is a major break through for the people in our neighborhood as they do not have easy access currently to such places. By building a movie theater, the the people in the neighborhood would be able to spend some quality time with their families and friends during their leisure time.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Apr 26, 2014   #5
Make the sentences short and clear. This is what I have:

Next, theIf a movie theater is built aroundwill give more life to the neighborhood. People who live here will make plan to go to the cinema and have fun there; consequently, the life in the neighborhood will be more activethen this will bring enthusiasms for the community .
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Apr 27, 2014   #6
repair your paragraphing, you should separate introduction-body 1-body 2-conclusion
so, the readers will easier to catch your points and they can understand your essay as well,
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 30, 2014   #7
Second, the closest movie theater is 25 minutes from my home and it is quite a distance we need to travel to get that experience which is not so encouraging us to see movies.If we want to watch movies in the cinema, then we need to go to NoName Cinema which is located in downtown 25 minutes from home. (you are almost repeating the same idea you said in the previous line...better avoid repetition)


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