[IELTS Writing task 1] EU-born Science and Technology employees working in the US in 1999

Hello!

I am looking for help in correcting essays. I am not new to English, but I am not used to academic methods of writing. Therefore, I am trying to improve it. I hope we can help each other.

report for a university lecturer

Here is my work:

The bar chart demonstrates the figures of Science and Technology European working in the US in 1999.

Overall, the British and the German accounted for the highest quantity of workers employed in the US, whereas the French and the Italians had the lowest number.

It can be seen from the chart that the French had the smallest amount of employees working in the US in 1999, with merely almost 5000 people, which is approximately 2000 people less than the Italians. That from other countries in Europe, the British and the German excluded, placed third in the chart with 20.000 people, almost double than the total of the French and Italian workers.

On the contrary, the significant number of British and German laborers were in first and second place with 28000 and 25000 people respectively. It can be calculated that the sum figure of the British and German workers employed in the US in 1999 was almost double than that of the rest of the Europe.

Thank you for your help.

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The main problem with your English skills stem from your lack of word usage accuracy, lack of familiarity with plural v. singular word usage, and proper sentence structuring. Although you show that you have a higher than beginner level of English vocabulary, you have not reached an intermediate grasp of the language usage yet. The errors you show in this writing still have you at the beginner level of English writing skills.

Improvements to your writing skills can be achieved by focusing in the observations made above. This will include further review of when and where to use the definite article "the" in a sentence. Yes, although it is commonly used (on a regular basis) in the English language, there are still times when it is not needed in a sentence.

Pointing out the errors in your work in general will be more helpful than if I were to review the content of your presentation. That is not actually the problem of the presentation which is why I chose to focus on what I see as your actual grammar related issues instead.

@Holt
Thank you kindly!
May I have your recommendations of how to solve my problems mentioned above?
I mean, I don't know where to start. Should I start with basic grammar or try another method of learning?

...whereas the French and the Italians had the lowest number. - Correct it to lowest numbers.

....with merely almost 5000 people..... - Maybe change almost to about?

That from other countries in Europe, the British and the German excluded, placed third in the chart with 20.000 people, almost double than the total of the French and Italian workers. - Number of people from other countries employed in the US sum up to 20.000, which exceeds the total number of French and Italian workers by about 7,000.

You have mentioned about the British and The Germans four times in total. Try to avoid doing that.

@hellogorkha
thank you!