First I'd like to point out some grammar issues that bug me (note that there are more in the essay):
However, it is also sparked a heated debate that a child who is not born with in-built talents, can achieve these talents
A child,who was born with certain talents, such as for sports and music, can achieve success after a little struggle
, who born with certain talents, such as sports and music
On the other hand, those who have no
t talents about for anything can achieve this.
Although, it is the responsibility of parents examine the specific talent of their children and encourage them. As well as, boost them to join training centres to nourish that talent.
---> these are not even complete sentences.
Nowadays, many special classes and training centres are available
in all over the world.
Your word choice is sometimes not appropriate either, which makes your ideas a little bit confusing.
One thing more, I think that your points are a bit irrelevant. From the topic I think that your essay must be about whether talents can be trained OR not, and I expect you to discuss both sides. It's not about those who are born with talents and those who are not. Your second paragraph just repeats the topic sentence in different manners, and actually makes no point relating to the problem.
Anyway, this is just how I see it. I like some of your ideas though. They are good enough for a time limited exam.