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IELTS Task 1: A Breakdown Of General Benefits And Drawbacks Of Fairmont Island


fahmisadja 33 / 33 34  
Nov 20, 2015   #1
A breakdown of general benefits and drawbacks of Fairmont Island is revealed by the pie charts based on tourists polling. Overall, it can be uncovered that there are four favorite aspects as well as disliked ones. While the scenery and the local people have the most fascinating attractions for tourists, the price of accommodation and entertainment become the significant problems for them to deal with.

According to the information of holiday makers, 40% of visitors report that Fairmont Island has good citizens, and the other 37% tourists enjoy its breathtaking view. However, the island has unaffordable cost for living, and the travelers recognize it as many as 45%. In addition, survey shows that they do not find the pleasure of entertainment in the island.

Ultimately, the visitors do not feel that weather and meal are serious trouble for them because the percentages are only at 5% and 20% respectively. On the other hand, there are a few holiday lovers who delight the culture and accommodation when they visit the tourism places, at average 11.5%.




qamar3811 1 / 8  
Nov 20, 2015   #2
hi fahmi
please consider these minor grammatical changes.
it uncovers that....
remove 'the other ' 37 %, write as , 37 % of the visitors
island has unaffordable cost of living...
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Nov 20, 2015   #3
Masdar, you were able to present the information contained in the chart in such a manner that anybody can easily understand. The paragraphs are developed in an acceptable manner but could use some grammar correction and editing for better clarity. Let me present my edited version of your essay below for your future reference:

The pie chart below presents the general benefits and drawbacks of living on Fairmont Island. The pie chart is based upon tourist polling representing the liked and disliked aspects of island life. Based upon the chart results, it appears that there are 4 favorite and disliked aspects. The people like the scenery and the local people help create interesting tourist attractions. However, the price of accomodations and entertainment can pose a problem for the tourists due to its high costs.

40% of holiday visitors report that Fairmont Island has good citizens, and the other 37% tourists enjoy its breathtaking view. However,45 % of island visitors say it has an unaffordable cost of living. In addition, the survey shows that they do not find the available entertainment on the island enjoyable.

Ultimately, the visitors do not feel that weather and measl are serious problems for them because the percentages are only at 5% and 20% respectively. However, there are a few holiday lovers who delight in the available culture and accommodation when they visit the tourism places, at an average of 11.5%.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Nov 23, 2015   #4
revealed byIN the pie charts

This is not "BY", but "IN". but nevertheless, the preposition BY can be used with people/person as the doer.

A breakdown of general benefits and drawbacks ...

A breakdown of the figure for Fairmont Island in terms of a tourist attraction is presented in the pie charts. There do seem to be common points that the Fairmont Island has benefits and demerits. While more visitors cite local inhabitants as by far the most fascinating attractions, the converse would appear to be true for the high cost of living.


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